IF YOU MISSED BRITNEY LAST NIGHT...

For those of you who missed Britney Spear's appearance on Will and Grace last night, here is where you can find a 5 minute clip of all of her scenes from the episode compiled together. It gets really funny about 2 minutes into it. I think she did a great job, so booo on you all you haters!

Watch Britney on Will and Grace

HEY. WHITNEY AIN'T GOT REAL TEETH.

Oh my. Just when you thought Whitney Houston's week couldn't get worse, it does. After her sister in law Tina Brown exposed Whit's drug den bathroom to the National Enquirer, the magazine throws in a little something else for you to chew on. Seems as though in addition to selling Whitney up the river, Tina also claims that Whitney's got false teeth! According to her, Whitney has a set of eight false teeth that she wears and has a really bad habit of losing them when she's riding the crazy high drug train. Tina said, "She loses them in the house and when she's out on drug binges. They cost $6,000 and the dentist has to keep FedExing her a new set." That's not all she said... once poor gums Whitney showed up to the school of Tina's daughter without her teeth in and scared all the children which made her daughter cry. Where the hell were all the Being Bobby Brown cameras then?!

Source: The National Enquirer 4/10/2006

WATCH "JESSICA" GET DUMPED BY ADAM LEVINE'S TEXT MESSAGE.

I just got emailed the funniest video called "Glitterati Deluxe" that you must check out. This video had me laughing my ass off. The guys behind it pick a crazy gossip story straight from the headlines and make a short movie reenacting what was reported. They also make sure they add their own "addendums & speculations," which is what makes it so great. First up, the rumored break up via text message between Maroon 5's Adam Levine and Jessica Simpson. It is hilarious and all the actors do an amazing job. It also features clones of Nick Lachey, Kristin Cavalleri, Jackass's Ryan Dunn and that dirty Bam Margera. Good stuff for your Friday! I can't wait to see more from these guys...
WATCH: Glitterati Deluxe (please be aware, it takes a little time to load!)

WANTED: NAOMI CAMPBELL NEEDS NEW MAID TO BEAT ON.

That crazy bitch Naomi Campbell is being accused AGAIN of beating the crap out of the help. This time, crazy ass Naomi allegedly hit her housekeeper in the back of the head with a cellphone. WHAT IS IT WITH THIS WOMAN ALWAYS THROWING PHONES AT PEOPLES HEADS?! Sorry. Got a little worked up there. Remember back in 1998 a former assistant accused her of the same thing? Or in September '05, when Naomi's friend Yvonne Schio accused her of punching her three times in the face and slamming her against a wall during an argument? Oh yah, there was also another assistant in November '05 that accused Naomi of head butting her and biting her bottom lip. It's called a pattern of behavior folks and that bitch Naomi has got one.

The housekeeper reportedly ended up going to the hospital after the phone opened a cut that needed four staples. Campbell was arrested Thursday morning (hooray!) and according to The Insider, "was charged with assault in the second degree. She was released on her own recognizance." Naomi's people are trying to spin this as retaliation by the housekeeper by saying she was fired earlier in the day because several things were missing from Naomi's home. Yah, whatever. They also claim that her wounds were "self inflicted." I'm sorry, but that chick Naomi is no good! I want to see her locked up in jail for once and let the inmates show her what it feels like to be beat on! (and no people, I am not advocating violence against women, just Naomi, so keep your pants on!)
Source: Reuters

NATIONAL ENQUIRER SAYS, "MATT LEBLANC TO FILE FOR DIVORCE TODAY"

The National Enquirer is exclusively reporting that Matt LeBlanc is filing for divorce later today from his wife of three years, Melissa. I don't know how the hell they got that information, but they are also saying that Matt and his wife have been separated since January. No specific reason for the divorce was given at this time. Hmmm....Remember the story a while back that came out about Matt LeBlanc at the strip club, huh? Makes ya wonder... The couple has a two year old daughter named Marina who suffers from a rare brain disorder. Overall, so sad.
Source: The National Enquirer

Related: Where's Ashton When You Need Him?

POPBYTES IS MY HERO!

Oh! Today is SUCH an exciting day!! As you can see, Tabloid Whore has a fancy ass smokin' hot sizzling new header on her site and I just want to cry because I'm so happy about it. I can't tell you howwww lonnnnng I have wanted to get this done, but I don't know anything about web design, so I pretty much have been stuck with the boring standard blogger design. That is, until my buddy MK over at popbytes took pity on me and said he would save me from my misery and design my dream header for me, and here ya have it. This guy is already so busy working on his own website, not to mention a ton of other projects, but he still found the time to help me out and I can't thank him enough. Friends like that don't come around often and I am so lucky to have him as one of mine! I'm sure you already are all aware of popbytes, but if you aren't, you MUST go visit it. It's tons of fun and always has the coolest stuff to read. So, big, huge, major props going out to my boy MK over at popbytes, rock on!

TAWNY KITAEN'S COCAINE RELAPSE.

If any of you are watching the new season of the The Surreal Life, you are well aware of the train wreck that is called Tawny Kitaen. Sources have told me that Tawny, contrary to how she is trying to portray herself on the show, is a total dumb ass looney tune (Oh! "allegedly" of course). Her "I have my life together now" claims on the show seem to be all an act because the National Enquirer revealed in this weeks issue that Tawny reportedly had a relapse with the blow on March 14th. Seems that she ended up in rehab days before the premiere of The Surreal Life, and experienced what they call "a life threatening cocaine overdose," according to a family insider. The NE says she was rushed from a rehab clinic in Los Angeles to UCLA hospital where the doctors ran tests and found "cocaine and a couple other drugs in her." Tawny did seem well enough to be released a few days later, where NE says that she went and stayed with her ex-husband Chuck Finley (the one she was charged with beating up in 2002). I was actually surprised when I read she had been in the hospital recently, because just a few days ago I heard her interviewed on a local Los Angeles morning show, sounding no less like the typical idiot she always comes off as.

Source: The National Enquirer 4/10/2006

CLIPS OF BRITNEY SPEARS ON TONIGHT'S WILL & GRACE.

Don't forget to watch Britney Spears on Will & Grace tonight! Check out some clips from her guest spot here (there are two of them that run back to back). Looks cute. Also, watch Britney talking about her Will & Grace character, Amber-Louise, here.
Source: aol television

RYAN SEACREST & TERI HATCHER SMOOCHING!

Awww! It's true! It's true! Ryan Seacrest and Teri Hatcher are an item. I heard the rumors, but wanted to wait for photographic evidence before I believed them. In their latest issue, US magazine has these pics of the couple kissing and enjoying each other's company after lunching together on March 25th. First sign it's real, they lunched at a quiet little place on the beach in Malibu called "Neptune's Net," as opposed to that celebrity couple whore-out joint otherwise known as "The Ivy." Hatcher and Seacrest have reportedly just begun getting to know each other after being introduced by a mutual friend and going on a group date to L'Orangerie restaurant earlier in the month. I love the idea of these two together because when Seacrest interviewed Hatcher on the red carpet during the Grammy's in February, you could see how nervous he was talking to her after she told him she listened to his radio show and tried to email him one day. Cute. Call me gullible if you want (eh, i've made my mistakes), but I don't believe the tired gay rumors about Seacrest, thank you very much (they are sooo 2004!). Not to mention, TW knows some perfectly hot straight men who, like Seacrest, also have a passion for pomade and fashion!
Source/Photos: US Weekly Magazine

GAW! TORI SPELLING & HER HORRIBLE TITS!

BUT...lover Dean McDermott seems to like them. oh, excuse me, he must be looking at her ring.

My ass those boobs aren't fake! They are all weird and indented and shit. Well, as long as the lover likes them (which apparently he does because he got them, along with Tori's face tattooed on his arm.) These shots were taken at a party for her VH1 show "So Notorious," premiering Sunday night on VH1. Since I have a sick addiction to watching any Tori Spelling made-for-tv movie every time I come across one, I will definitely be checking out her new show.

BRAD AND ANGELINA: BITCH CENTRAL!

Star cover compliments of popbytes

Seems like the days of passion and hot monkey sex are over for Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie (at least for the time being.) Star Magazine is saying that the couple has not been getting along at all and Brad feels as though if he doesn't keep his mouth shut and be the perfect puppy dog Pitt, Angie will jump down his throat! Tensions are reportedly high between the couple because Brad really wants to make Angie an honest woman and get married and she doesn't want to have any part of it. She even apparently walked out on Brad and took the kids after an argument. Star quotes a source saying, "Brad said they argued about getting married. He said she refused point-blank to set a date, and told him that if he kept pushing her it would be over forever. Then she left with the kids. When she returned that night, she refused to discuss it. She just told him, 'Forget about it, OK!' But Brad worries and the more worried he gets, the angrier Angelina gets. He said she's so passionate, she explodes and then disappears until she calms down and they can never discuss things rationally or calmly."

Star also reports that Brad is even afraid to talk politics with Angie. Instead, PDP chooses to sit in silence and bite his tongue while they watch CNN and let Angie tell him how the world works. A source said, "When they're watching CNN, Brad keeps his mouth firmly closed and his opinions to himself. He's terrified that if he says the wrong thing, hell set Angelina off. Brad said he once disagreed with her over a political issue and she went crazy on him! She told him that he is not smart enough to know when politicians are lying. She went on about American's knowing only about their own country. It was a nastyshrieking put-down and it ended with her grabbing the kids and taking off. When she came back, she just sulked and went to sleep." They also said that Angie is getting fed up with Brad's possessiveness and whining and that she "prefers him the way he was when they first met, independent and masculine." Ha. Let's not forget she also prefers her men to be married. Friends are hoping that the cause of Angie's mood swings and treating Brad like shit is just due to the stress of what is going on in her life at the moment. Her mom is said to be very ill and her pregnancy has reportedly been "difficult." Only time will tell what happens with these two. Tick tock, tick tock.
Source: Star Magazine

OH THE HORROR! WHITNEY HOUSTON'S DIRTY DRUG BATHROOM.

NE cover courtesy of the fab popbytes

Oh sweet baby J...gossip has been pretty slow of late, but then, a story like this comes around to make up for it. It appears as though dear, dear Whitney Houston has completely gone over the edge in her drug addiction. So freakin' sad I tell ya. My favorite tabloid The National Enquirer blows the the roof off of Whitney and exposes her dirty secret "Drug Den." Splashed all over the cover of the magazine is a photo of Whitney's bathroom, filthy and littered with "drug paraphernalia including a crack-smoking pipe, rolling papers, cocaine-caked spoons and cigarette ends are strewn across the surface tops." Ok, I don't know about you guys, but after seeing that photo I will never feel like I have a messy bathroom again. Yes!!

Whitney's sister in law Tina Brown (who admits to once doing crack with the Whit, but is now clean herself) talked to the NE hoping that exposing Whitney to the press will finally push her to get help. That, or she was hoping to make some mega-bucks with her exclusive story. Tina said that if she isn't dissapearing for days into seedy crack dens, all Whitney does is lock herself up in that drug den bathroom and smokes crack, doesn't shower and uses sex toys to satisfy herself while in there. Ok, I swear I did not make up that last line. While she is high on the drugs, Whitney allegedly thinks she sees demons and is being beat by them, when in reality, it's Whitney who hits and punches herself without even realizing it. She reportedly gets so paranoid while on the junk that she made a hole in her bathroom so she could see outside and spy on who was in her house. Yikes!

Good God! How is it that Courtney Love, who I don't even believe was half a bad a drug addict as Whitney reportedly is, can get locked up in rehab and threatened with jail, but Whitney is left to destroy herself in her drug den bathroom? She needs to get arrested for something or other so her booty ends up in jail and then has to deal with the courts and breaking probation. I feel so bad for Bobbi Kristina and it's no wonder all that little girl did was drink milkshakes on "Being Bobby Brown." I really hope Whitney can be convinced to check into serious rehab for at least a year minimum. Even though she is sooo completely messed up, I loves me some Whitney and I don't want the chick to die of an overdose. Frankly, with all the drugs she has allegedly done, I am actually surprised girlfriend is still alive. If that alone is not a sign to shape up and that the good lord ain't ready to make her a member of his choir yet, I don't know what is.
Source: The National Enquirer; The Sun

YES, IT'S YOUR AMERICAN IDOL WRAP-UP (WHETHER U LIKE IT OR NOT).

Here we go again, it's time for another American Idol wrap up. The kids did songs of the 21st century, which in my opinion is a lot more fun to watch than some of the horrible themes AI picks. The only downside to being current is that they risk sounding very karaoke, but what can you do? I thought over all it was a pretty good show. Here we go...

Lisa Tucker: "Because of You" (Kelly Clarkson)- Why, oh why do people perform hit songs from former AI contestants? Kelly is so awesome, you pretty much can't top her or even compare. It's like when people try to do Whitney Houston. Also, Lisa's voice was pretty off tonight and dare I say it? "Pitchy."

Kelly Pickler: Kelly sang some horrible country song and I hate country.

Ace Young: "Drops of Jupiter" (Train)- Aww tonight, Ace won my little heart back. Aside from the fact that I love this song and it's romantic, it's also awesome because it mentions the word "Tae Bo" in it. I really thought Ace did a fabulous job and I just don't agree with the bad criticism he got from the judges this week.

Taylor Hicks: "Trouble" This was a great song for Taylor. It's one of the first times I didn't completely feel that Michael McDonald vibe from him and that was refreshing. Also, I dug the leather jacket and haircut. Simon was absolutely wrong saying that Taylor was dressed like Clay Aiken. Offensive! Awww, but seeing George Huff in the audience put me over the edge of happiness.

Mandisa: "Wanna Praise You" I'm sorry, I didn't like her this week. She sounded like she was screaming and she hurt my ears. Paula is an idiot with her "there is a new religion and 40 million people have joined the church of Mandisa." Um, time to get some new writers, Paula.

Chris Daughtry: "What If" (Creed) oh my my my. How I LOVE loud music and the men who sing it. Delicious. Simon thought Chris went to far with the loud loud song, but I loved it. I don't want no pop shit from that man! Plus, it was pretty ridiculous how they made Ryan do that short little interview with Chris about the "Walk The Line" song and that it was a cover of LIVE's version. Ryan: "You are like obsessed with LIVE, no?" Lame. They should have addressed the controversy directly. Whatever.

Katherine McPhee: "The Voice Within" (Christina Aguilera)- egh. I love my Katherine, but add Christina to the list of singers you should never do a cover of.

Bucky Covington: Real Good Man (Tim McGraw): Ok. I just don't like country and of all the 21st century songs he had to pick country. I will admit, for some reason Bucky is the only one who can make me tolerate the music, but I much prefer his rocker side. Not to mention, he was kinda cute in that cowboy hat, shirt and boots. Made me wanna eat some beef jerky.

Paris Bennett: "Work it Out" (Beyonce): Paris sounded great as always and she even threw in the Beyonce booty shake which made me yell out, "shake it girl! shake it!" I wasn't terribly crazy about the song choice, "Bootylicious" would have been better, but she did a fab job anyway.

Elliott Yamin: "I Don't Want To Be" : When the song first started, I was frightened. But then, after I got over the initial shock of Elliot throwing in those hip hop hand moves, I learned to enjoy it. It was fun and I kinda liked seeing him get funky like that.

SHARON STONE: WHEN IN DOUBT, BLOW IT OUT!

Oh dear Sharon Stone. What will come out of this woman's mouth next? After reading this story, I don't even want to know. Apparently Sharon has been quoted saying she recently was shopping and witnessed a young girl trying on clothes with her mother. The mother was trying to convince her daughter not to be "inappropriately alluring" because she was trying on a shirt and her belly was showing. Sure, sure, makes sense...happens all the time with mom's today, right? Well, it seems that Sharon "give me my extensions!" Stone took it upon herself to butt in on this conversation between this mother and daughter and told the girl, "Gee that would look much nicer with a camisole under." How lovely, I'm sure the mother really appreciated Sharon and her fashion advice. I mean, if a teen isn't going to listen to her mother, she'll definitely listen to some washed up movie star whose name she probably doesn't even know, right? Sharon went on to say that when the young girl's mother walked away from her daughter, Sharon approached the girl and told her, 'I'd like to give you a two-minute conversation about sex.' It's not clear exactly what she said to the teen, but Stone added, "Young people talk to me about what to do if they're being pressed for sex? I tell them (what I believe): oral sex is a hundred times safer than vaginal or anal sex. "If you're in a situation where you cannot get out of sex, offer a blow job. I'm not embarrassed to tell them."

Hmm. "Offer a blow job in a situation where you cannot get out of sex?" If a young girl is in a "situation where she cannot get out of sex," I think she might have a bigger problem on her hands. I kind of see the point she was trying to make, she doesn't want teens to have unprotected sex, I get it. But it's a stupid point when you tell a girl that she should blow a guy just to get out of the situation. Egh! Forget the fact that you can also get an STD from oral sex too Sharon. I really hope her quote has been taken out of context. But if not and if Sharon wants to give sex advice to teens, how about telling them a way to get out of the "situation" that doesn't involve sex at all? Raising teenagers the same way you get your movie roles is not right Ms. Stone. What a dumb ass.

Source: Contact Music

SCIENTOLOGISTS CARRY IN THE CUE CARDS AS HOLMES PREPS FOR CHILDBIRTH.

Oh I feel ill. As we know, Kate Holmes is going to give birth any day now and we are all on baby watch. Everyone has wondered if Kate will go through with this whole Scientology thangadangdang of taking no pain killers and being very quiet during giving birth. Well yesterday, Scientologists were spotted carrying signs into the home of Tom & Kate that read things like, "Be silent and make all physical movements slow and understandable." Normally I would raise an eyebrow at the validity of this story, but I saw something on television yesterday with Scientologists carrying signs like that, but I wasn't paying enough attention to it and didn't realize it was about Tom and Kate. These signs are reportedly going to be placed around the house as "reminders" for Kate, staff and anyone else in the home at the time of birth. Hmmm...does that mean she will be giving birth at home? Instead of bringing in big signs, how about a reminder to Kate that her husband to be and his crack pot "religion" are completely screwed up? And to think I used to love Tom Cruise. Such a shame. He doesn't seem to be too worried about Kate going through her first childbirth the Scientology way and says, "There have been misinterpretations that the woman can't make any noise, and that's just not true. It's nutty. No, but just calm and quiet. I want Katie to be as comfortable as possible." Now, we can only hope. Good luck dear Kate.

Source: Playfuls.com Photo: Drudge

SIMON COWELL TO BRING NEW TALENT SHOW TO NBC.

The fabulous Simon Cowell has created a brand new talent show with American Idol executive producer Ken Warwick called "America's Got Talent," debuting on NBC this summer. The difference between this show and Idol is that it will be a true "talent show," one that is open to people of all ages, not to mention, all types of performing. The winner of "America's Got Talent," will be determined by audience votes and will take home a grand prize of 1 million dollars. Today in a press conference Cowell said, "We felt the time was right to open up the boundaries, and say to all of America, regardless of your age, whether you're 2, whether you're 100, regardless of what you believe your talent is -- juggling, magic, singing -- this is the show you can enter. "It's as simple as that." Open-call auditions for "America's Got Talent" will begin April 6 in Los Angeles and then continue in New York, Chicago and Atlanta. "America's Got Talent" will feature a panel of three yet to be named celebrity judges, but unfortunately, Cowell will not be one of them. Boohoo! Kinda kills the excitement.
Source: Reuters

PAULA ABDUL BACK IN THE SADDLE AGAIN.

Hubba! Hubba! Hubba!

Damn you, Paula! The crazies ALWAYS get the hotties.

For those of you worried about koo koo bird Paula Abdul finding a boyfriend, worry no more. She reportedly has a new man named Tony Schiena, who is described as a "martial arts expert and actor." I guess her Dr. Phil hook up didn't end up to be the love of her life, boo hoo. Well, for Paula's sake (and sanity), let's hope this new relationship sticks. For a woman who goes through men at the speed of lightening, she sure is still able to get herself some hot meat.

Photo: PEOPLE

BRITNEY AND KEVIN BACK TO HOT AND HORNY?

Awww looks like things are all good between Britney Spears and hubby Kevin Federline (at least for this week.) The couple was out together on the weekend at a club in Atlanta and couldn't have looked happier. Apparently they have also been seen making out all over the place since his birthday celebration. Aww, just like old times! I much prefer the stories of Britney and Kevin jumping each other's bones every second than hearing stories of impending divorce! Come on, even if you don't like them, you have to admit it's a really cute picture.

Photo: PEOPLE

KATE HOLMES HAS HER BABY SHOWER.

Wowy. Here's a shot of our girl Kate Holmes and boy is she hu-hu-huge! Kate was taking a stroll after reportedly having a baby shower on Saturday at the freakin' Celebrity Scientology Center in Hollywood of all places. Good grief L. Ron Hubbard! That poor girl can't even escape those freaks for a second! Ugh! I feel ill! Reports are saying both her mother (probably hoping to break her daughter free) and Tom's mother (probably making sure she doesn't escape) joined the festivities and when asked how the shower was, Katie said, "Lovely, thank you." Yep. Just like that robot Small Wonder. I really do wonder how Kate's parents feel about this whole deal and if her mama just wants to kidnap her in the middle of the night and take her back to the safety of Toledo, OH.

"The baby shower was lovely, thank you."

CRUISE BUGGED KIDMAN DURING DIVORCE.

"Hee! Hee! I know all your secrets you bastard!"

"You try and wiretap my phones and you will go down motherf'er!"

Page Six is reporting that during his divorce from Nicole Kidman, Tom Cruise had his private dick, that creepy Anthony Pellicano, wire tap her phones. Knowing Tom was capable of crap like this, Kidman hired her own private eye Richie Di Sabatino who told Page Six, "We swept her phones and put on an encryption device, so she couldn't be wiretapped . . . We tried to keep one step ahead." Nicole apparently wasn't going to let Tom get the best of her and a friend said, "During her divorce, she would talk to friends on the phone and every couple of minutes break into the conversation and say, 'So, Tom, are you listening,' or 'Am I saying what you want me to say, Tom?' How absolutely frightening and unbelievable. I bet Nicole could write a really good book about her years with Cruise. Even better, I think it should be a group effort between Nicole Kidman, Mimi Rogers, Penelope Cruz, Katie Holmes (once she is released) and that gay porno star who once claimed to be Cruise's lover. Spill the freakin' beans on the man. Lawsuit, schmawsuit. It would probably be the best selling book of all time.
Source: PAGE SIX

AMERICAN IDOL'S CHRIS DAUGHTRY UNDER FIRE FROM CRAZIES.

Ahh here we go again. It happens EVERY year. Some crazy American Idol fans feel threatened by a really good contestant and end up getting their panties in a bunch over the littlest thing just so they can start a big freakin' hubabaloo to try and discredit them. Today's victim is the fabulous Chris Daughtry and his performance on last week's show of "Walk The Line." Apparently the kids on the Idol message boards are all pissy (you just knowww they are probably "pickle" fans) because although Daughtry was praised by the judges for his performance (and the way the song was re-arranged), Daughtry actually wasn't responsible for the rearrangement of the song. It came from a cover version of Walk The Line performed by the band Live In 2001. Oh the horrors! Stop the world!

C'mon, let's get real here. I really doubt Daughtry was trying to "sneak" this by everyone and pass the version off as his creation. I'm sure when he picked the song and during rehearsals with the band, the vocal coach, etc, he made it very clear that Live did the song this way. It's not his fault that some viewers (including TW) were unaware of Live's cover. Maybe instead of blaming Daughtry, pissy fans should blame producers for not having Ryan Seacrest announce Daughtry as "doing Live's version of the Johnny Cash song" or get mad at the judges for making it appear Daughtry rearranged it instead of mentioning he did a great version of "Live's cover." Blaming Daughtry is just stupid. What should he have done? Interrupt the judges in the middle of critique on LIVE television and say, "No! no! It's Live's cover! You just didn't mention it during the intro!" Sometimes on live television you just gotta go with the flow peeps. Not to mention, he is not the first contestant on Idol that has performed a song based off of a different artists cover. As Simon would say, "It's a singing competition!" and in my opinion, Daughtry sang spectacularly, no matter who did the arrangement. If he did a shitty version and didn't get praised by the judges, would people still be pissed?
Source: AP

OH NO! ACTORS SING ON CHARITY CD.

Sweet baby Jesus! What will they come up with next? First we had Dancing with the Stars, then Skating with Celebrities and now, a CD is coming out in called "Unexpected Dreams, Songs From the Stars." According to the CD press release, celebs like Scarlette Johansson, Teri Hatcher, John Stamos, Jennifer Garner, Victor Garber, Ewan McGregor (ahhh remember Moulin Rouge? Love his voice!), Julia Louis-Dreyfus and more, sing their hearts out to "night music, lullabies and ballads" while being backed by the Los Angeles Philharmonic. Parts of the proceeds for this cd will go to "Music Matters," which is the education program for the L.A. Phil. The album is set to be released on April 25th, but if you want to check out song snippets now (or have a good giggle) go here. Although I kept laughing while I listened to the samples, they actually don't sound terribly bad. But you KNOW a lot of the voices had to be sweetened, you just know it. Gah!

Source: Stereo gum

BRITNEY HITS THE BOOZE?

Looks like the rumors about Britney Spears being pregnant with baby #2 may not be true after all. Apparently people saw my girl Brit boozing it up with a fabulous Cosmopolitan (delicious!) at the birthday party she threw for Kevin Federline on Tuesday at Tao in Vegas. Brit and Kev are said to have returned to Tao the following night, where Britney was allegedly seen "downing shots." You never know, she may not be pregnant and all those supposed people who said they heard her saying "I'm pregnant!" at the Four Season's in Maui could have been lying. Her fairly big tummy could still just be post baby tummy. OR (and I like this theory), that very well could have been a stunt Cosmo she was drinking and water or 7-Up she was shooting, just to throw everyone off. I know, I know, I'm reaching..but it's Friday, let me have my fun.

In other Britney news, the guest appearance she made on Will & Grace is going to air next week, so make sure to watch. I saw a clip of it on the news this morning and she was really funny and looked gorgeous.

Source: Rush & Malloy

DREW & LEA LACHEY NOW OFFICIALLY PARENTS.

Awwww! Drew Lachey is finally a daddy. His wife Lea gave birth to their daughter yesterday in Los Angeles. In a statement, their rep said, "mom, dad and baby are all happy and healthy." Congratulations Drew and Lea!!

Source: PEOPLE

JUST FIRE HER ALREADY! IDOL ALMOST SACKS PAULA. AGAIN.

US Weekly is reporting that American Idol was THISSS close to firing Paula Abdul's ass about a month ago. The show reportedly was so fed up with her crazy behavior that they wanted to kick her to the curb and bring in either Jessica Simpson or Britney Spears to replace her. A source told US, "Paula was being very difficult. (She was) crying all the time and arriving late for meetings." The source said that Paula was completely stressed out (From what? Going on Dr. Phil's show? Her life is NOT THAT COMPLICATED!) and sought medical attention. She allegedly was treated for "exhaustion and dehydration." Oh help me please. Enough with the whole exhaustion thing!!!

I don't know what the hell is really going on with Paula. Her wig was too low on her forehead last night and the night before she seemed drunk and high when she started yelling at Simon about dancing. How does that man not backhand her? I would love to see Britney Spears as a judge on the show. Paula, as much as I love laughing at you, get that shit together and quick, girlfriend. That's right, you heard me.

Source: IMDB

CHARLENE TILTON DOESN'T WANT JESSICA SIMPSON IN DALLAS FLICK.

Jessica Simpson is rumored to be up for the part of Lucy Ewing in the movie version of the hit television show Dallas and Charlene Tilton, the actress who originated the role isn't exactly thrilled with the possible choice. She thinks that Jessica is simply too old to play the part because when Tilton started on the show she had just turned 17. Instead, she thinks that Lindsay Lohan (eggh!) would be perfect for the role. No word from her on Kristin Cavalleri, the other person rumored to be trying to get the part, most likely because she (along with many others) has no idea who the hell Kristin is. Although Tilton doesn't think Simpson would be right for the part, she did have kind words for her, "Jessica is beautiful but too old. I had just turned 17 when we started filming. It's more exciting if Lucy is doing all these things... out of high school. (Lindsay Lohan) is a great choice." Uggggh...I just don't see Lohan in the role, I would much rather see Jessica. All they would have to do is not plaster her face with all that makeup and she looks years younger. Damn, I'd be more concerned about the casting of Jennifer Lopez as Sue Ellen Ewing. Oh the humanity!!

Source: Handbag

THE SHIELD FINALE: WHY LEM? WHY?

Ok my watchers of The Shield, I needed a full 24 hours to recover from the show's season finale before I posted. I am still so disturbed by the ending and the fact that dear sweet Lem was killed by Choppers of all people (that's Shane to the rest of you). Now I can no longer like him after what he did. I just can't. Why'd they have to kill my hot, good hearted, dopey Lem? Why couldn't Lem just go to that damn ranch in Mexico? I mean, when that freakin' grenade went off, I was as stunned as I was with Edgar's death on 24! I know Choppers has always been kind of a dumbass from the beginning, so I actually shouldn't be surprised at what he did, but I was. Oh, I can't even talk about it anymore. I thought I was over it, but now writing about it makes me realize I still need more time. Dear, dear, Lem. Big props to actor Kenneth Johnson, for a fabulous performance this season. The Strike Team won't be the same without you and Lem's ulcers.


Other finale comments: I'm sorry, but making Vic Danny's baby daddy was too predictable. I was hoping they'd throw us a curve ball and make Dutch the father...but what can you do? I hope, hope, hope, that Forrest Whitaker will be back next season because I thought he was absolutely brilliant as Lt. Kavanaugh. Not to mention, they really need to get rid of that new female cop who is Julian's partner. Hate her. I'm sure I left out a bunch of other things that happened on the finale, but I really just wanted to give a shout out to my boy Lem. And for you Choppers, all I have to say is "conscience is a killer" my friend. I'll see ya next season. Even though I am traumatized, I cannot wait to see what happens when The Shield returns and for anyone who watches the show you know it will be in a long ass while. Unless we're lucky and FX changes up it's schedule, The Shield won't be back until January '07. I hate waiting that long for this amazing show. How will we live without it for so long?

TOM CRUISE DRAGS KATE TO YAHOO HQ'S.

Good God. For some reason Tom Cruise was a guest speaker at Yahoo's Sunnyvale headquarters yesterday, don't ask me why. Anyway, he dragged poor Kate Holmes along with him AGAIN, even though she is like totally going to give birth to that child any day now. Ever since there was talk of trouble in paradise, dude seems to be back to dragging her out everywhere AGAIN, when all the poor girl probably wants to do is lie on the couch with her feet up. Also, in addition to some shots of Kate during the event, check out some video of Tom and Kate leaving Yahoo. There is some crazy ass fan and she is jumping and screaming at the top of her lungs. I swear, people like her should be shot. Check out video of the crazy bitch here on You Tube.

STAR JONES CLOSE TO DEATH AFTER TITTY LIFT.

I'm melting! I'm melting!

The fabulous National Enquirer is reporting that Star Jones almost died on March 17th after secretly getting her tits lifted. During the procedure, Star allegedly had to be rushed to the emergency room when she started shaking and trembling. The Enquirer claims she was suffering from internal bleeding and extremely close to going into cardiac arrest. Medics apparently called 911 after her vital signs plunged to frighteningly low levels and Star seemed to be going into shock. Star, who was said to have lost half her blood during the procedure, received life saving blood transfusions once she arrived to the ER. Thanks to wonderful doctors, Star's life was spared and as of March 20th was recovering back at a private plastic surgery recovery center.

Not to make light of the situation (ok, let's do it just a little), but It's going to be interesting to see how this is handled on The View. Will it be addressed in "Hot Topics?" Will Star admit to it or keep up her creepy secretive "things just happen magically" attitude towards her whole weight loss deal? I think if she would stop hiding from everything and instead be straightforward about her weight loss and the subsequent dangers she encountered after going under the knife, she might actually end up helping someone. I for one, would have more respect for the woman if she did. As of now, her people seems to be in "secret mode" only saying, "She had an elective breast lift procedure. Star is recovering wonderfully." Ya, whatever!

A spokeman for The View seems to be on the same page as Star's reps, telling the NY Daily News, "Star Jones is anemic, but she did NOT almost die." He also added that Star "was chipper enough on Saturday to gab with fellow co-host Barbara Walters on the phone. She did not mention anything about blood transfusions or anything like that. Star was chatty and in phenomenal spirits and she was talking about looking forward to coming back to work." He also added that she was "even out for a pleasure drive on L.A.'s Wilshire Blvd. yesterday, enjoying the sunshine." Since I don't get to watch The View on a daily basis, please email me if/when this subject is ever addressed. Before her near death nightmare, Star was scheduled to return on April 3rd.

Source: The National Enquirer

RANT: AMERICAN IDOL FINAL 11

Tonight's theme was "songs from the 50's" with guest star Barry Manilow. I love Barry!! Thankfully, Paula must have read this column last week, because she had her good wig on again. To make the long ass wrap ups more bearable, I will stick to first thoughts and one or two sentences for each contestant. Please remember that I tend to air on the sarcastic side, so don't all you pissy Idol kooks get all up in my drawers for not doing "proper critiques." If you want to read some great Idol wrap ups from someone who has more patience to critique the actual singing than TW, check out my friends over at Girls Talkin' Smack.

Mandeesa: Although I loved her voice, hair and make up, girlfriend said in her teaser video that she "doesn't know much about Barry Manilow." Hey, the girl is 29 and wants to be a singer, she should know the great Barry Manilow by now. Offensive.

Bucky Covington: "Oh Boy." Thank God they dropped the curling iron this week. Is it just me, or is Bucky starting to look a little hot? Never thought the day would come when I'd be turned on by white trash. The song? Egh.

Paris Bennett: "Fever." Paris, is amazing...I can't- oh! oh! Oh be still my silly little heart! They just showed Constantine Maroulis in the audience wearing these hot little glasses. Who gives a crap about broom head Ryan Cabrera sitting next to him.

Chris Daughtry: "I Walk The Line." W.O.W. He completely turned the song on it's head and made it into something new and brilliant. Oh how much do I love this man?

Katharine McPhee: "Come Rain or Come Shine." I just can't get over what great hair and eyebrows Katharine has. She is so gorgeous with an amazing voice and even though I am not lesbian, I love her. You know Paula was wishing she could have hair like that instead of having to wear a wig.

Taylor Hicks: "Not Fade Away." Taylor's voice sounded great as usual, but the song selection kind of bored me (as Simon would say, "sorry!"). Any man that walks up to Barry Manilow by singing "Mandy" is alright in my book.

Lisa Tucker: "Why Do Fools Fall In Love?" Oh gosh, I was bored. Sorry. And I did NOT like her long shorts.

Kevin Covais: "When I fall In Love" Ahhh, Kevin tries so hard. The hand in the pants pocket was fab. He did a wonderful job. Did NOT need to see Jasmine Trias in the audience and she is still wearing that damn flower in her hair.

Elliot Yamin: "Teach Me Tonight." Tonight was the first night I really heard the great voice Simon is talking about with Elliot. Also, that makeover done him good.

Kelly Pickler: "Walking After Midnight." Oh she sounded good, but I still haven't warmed to her. I am not into her stealing Jessica Simpson's "dumb blonde" act. The more I hear her, the more annoying she becomes because it takes away from any smidgen of talent she might have. She is just ridiculous and her dumb act is starting to make her sound like she has a "disability."

Ace Young: "In The Still of the Night." First off, enough with showing the damn little blonde girl in the audience already. It's bad enough we are adults addicted to this show, do we have to be reminded that 7 year olds watch it too?? On to Ace, I'm sorry, but after seeing Constantine in the audience I can't even look at him the same. I bet he was just sitting there watching and thinking, "amateur! quit stealing my hair moves!"

TORI SPELLING PISSES OFF MOMMY & DADDY!!

"How ya like them apples, Candi?"

Oooh! I love scandal like this. Page Six is reporting that Tori Spelling and her parents are no longer speaking to each other. If you think it's because daddy Aaron went and spent millions for his baby girl's wedding, only to have her up and cheat and bail on her husband for a hotter guy, you'd only be half right. Apparently the Spelling's are PO'd because in an upcoming episode of Tori's new sitcom, 'So noTORIous.' Tori mocks her real life mother Candi (played by the fab Loni Anderson on the show). Premiering on VH1 April 2nd, 'So noTORIous,' which is loosely based on Tori's life after 90210 fame, is said to contain a scene that had her mother threatening baby girl with a lawsuit. A friend of Tori's told Page Six:

"There is a scene in the first episode of her new show, 'So noTORIous,' in which she makes fun of the eBay room in her parents' house. Her mother has a huge shopping problem and has a whole room dedicated to the stuff she buys on the site. When Candy saw the episode, she threatened Tori and said she was going to sue her."

Through her publicist, Tori released a statement to Page Six saying, 'So noTORIous' is a fictionalized account of my life after '90210' with fictional characters . . . We take poetic license with everyone and every story line on the show." I for one, cannot wait to watch Tori's new show. I fear that it is going to be one of my new guilty pleasures. At first I thought it was going to suck balls until I saw a 5 minute clip on VH1 recently. I have to say, it looked really, really, funny because all she does is make fun of herself and her public persona. Shit, with a mother that has a frickin' eBay room, a wrapping room, and who knows what other madness Tori is privy too, you know she will have a lot of good material to work with. Oh dear, oh dear. After this latest scuffle, something tells me daddy won't be paying a cent for Tori's wedding #2.
Source: Page Six

NICOLE RICHIE NEEDS TO BE SPANKED.

Nicole Richie might be a skinny as hell now, but she is still the dirty, dirty, bird people loved so much on The Simple Life. It is being reported that her behavior got a bit out of hand during a recent taping of the show's new season, where her and whore Hilton play housewives. Nicole reportedly was pushing a baby carriage down the street and approached an 11 year old boy who was playing basketball in his driveway and "in graphic terms" asked him if he thought she was attractive. What's "graphic terms" you ask? Although her offending words have not been made public, my guess it that she said something along the lines of "am I a mother you'd like to f@%k?" playing off the whole tired "MILF" thing. Anyone who ever watched The Simple Life knows Nicole's got a sewer mouth on her and hey, nothing wrong with a sewer mouth here and there, but probably not the best idea to use it with an 11 year old. The father of the boy was not pleased and in addition to complaining to the production company, refused to sign a release for the footage to air. Honestly, I can't blame the man. I think Nicole can be hilarious, but too often both her and whore Hilton were so disrespectful to the people featured on The Simple Life, it made me sick.

Source: PEOPLE

BLOGGER DOWN

Sorry peeps...Blogger has been having crazy problems and has been down all day and I lost a bunch of today's posts. Due to this, stuff wont be up until the evening when I have time to redo them. Sorry, but it's out of my hands. :)

TRUMP BECOMES GRANDFATHER, UM, EGH, I MEAN FATHER, AGAIN!

"Donald! I want the baby to have the silver spoon! You hear me darling?! Make sure Barron gets his silver spoon!"

Donald Trump's daughter Melania (35), um, I mean wife, gave birth to a baby boy named Barron William Trump at 5am this morning. The couple is said to be thrilled, unlike his four other children who are probably pissed off they have one more kid they have to share daddy's fortune with. Trump (59) called the Imus in the Morning show to make the birth announcement proclaiming, "I continue to stay young, right? I produce children, I stay young." Blech.
Source: PEOPLE

NO DUH. DID CALISTA MAKE PORTIA ANOREXIC?

Healthy Portia, post Ally McBeal..

Yucky Portia during Ally Mc Beal

Actress Portia De Rossi, who once played the role of Nell on the hit TV show Ally McBeal, is reportedly blaming working with a then skeletoral looking Calista Flockhart on the fact that she became an 82 pound anorexic back in 1999. Speaking with Vogue for their April issue, De Rossi said, "I've often wondered if I wasn't on that show if it (anorexia) may not have happened. I didn't really know at that point what it was like to be a celebrity, and the only people I knew at the time who had a similar experience were these women whom I worked with. They became my role models." Although she was not new to acting, I seem to recall Courtney Thorne-Smith saying the same type of thing when she got all disgustingly skinny after working on Ally Mc Beal. De Rossi decided to tell the world about her struggle now (not that it wasn't obvious to everyone back in 1999) after many talks and support from her girlfriend, Ellen DeGeneres. Man, I am so glad Portia got healty, because she looks so much better now...I just wish she would come out and say if Calista Flockhart is also to blame for her skinny, horrible strange colored looking eyebrows.
Source: IMDB

OH HOW I LOVE MY "DOG THE BOUNTY HUNTER!"

O.K. I admit it. I am helplessly addicted to A&E's Dog The Bounty Hunter and overjoyed that a brand new season of Dog is starting Tuesday night. For those of you who don't know, Dwayne "Dog" Chapman is an ex-con turned born again Christian, kick ass bounty hunter who puts bad guys behind bars. Most notably, Dog nabbed that date rapist pig Max Factor heir, Andrew Luster after he jumped bail and fled to Mexico. My man Dog has been doing this for 27 years and has over 6,000 captures to his name. Living life in Hawaii, the show follows Dog and his bounty hunting crew as they go around the island picking up all those baddies who jumped bail and are very frequently, addicted to "The Ice." Dog's crew consists of his awesome wife Beth, who handles the bail bonds business, plus, is a tough ass bitch with a heart of gold. She is also beautifully white trash with teased up bleached blonde hair and wears short skirts and has big boobs--just the way Dog likes it. His sons Leland and Dwayne Lee also are part of the team along with buddy Tim Chapman. The thing about Dog is that although he is a bounty hunter, he shows his captures that he's got a heart too. I mean, after they nab a guy and throw 'em in Dog's big, black SUV, he always offers to put a cigarette in their mouth on their way to the jailhouse. Not to mention, if they are addicted to The Ice, he always, and I mean always, gives The Icees a big, inspirational talk on how they can get their life together and quit the drug. Now that is a good man. That's Dog Dwayne Chapman for ya, my guilty, guilty, pleasure.
Check it out!: Dog The Bounty Hunter
Dog Fun Facts:

• He is only 5'7 (say whaaat??)
• He has a dozen children (yah, I re-read that one too)
• Dog and his common law wife Beth will get legally married on May 20, 2006 (they've been together 16 years)
• The name Dog comes from a biker gang he joined at age 15
• In his 6,000 fugitive captures, he has never fired one bullet
• Dog never recieved a cent of the bounty money for the capture of Andrew Luster
• His 3rd season contract for A&E's Dog The Bounty Hunter reportedly pays him a cool $2.6 million

LINDSAY LOHAN BLOWS OFF FAT LETO (and not in the way you might think...)

"Um, Ok..like, Jared? When can you look like Jordan Catalano again already?!"

In Touch Weekly is reporting that Lindsay Lohan is like, ew! totally turned off y'know by Jared Leto now that he got all big and doughy for his role in the upcoming flick Chapter 27. Shit, I saw a picture of Jared post weight gain and that dreamy Jordan Catalano is a far off memory now. If Gwenyth Paltrow an Alyson Hannigan can all don a fat suit for their "large roles," why oh why couldn't you Jared? Did you really have to ruin such a luscious specimen for a role? Thousands of women are pained by this transformation and La Lohan seems to be one of them! She reportedly now feels that Jared (who her friends say is "trying to win her back" ya right) is becoming way too obsessive and calling her too much. Ha. I love it. Before Lindsay was the one chasing Jared around, but now that he's all fat, the tabloids have crowned him king doughboy and saying he's a desperate puppy dog running after Lohan. 50 pound weight gain or not, don't worry Jared, I'm not buying this for a second. BTW, if you haven't checked out Jared's band 30 Seconds To Mars, do so. It's surprisingly good.

Source: In Touch Weekly

ROCKSTAR COMING BACK WITH A WHOLE NEW TWIST.

If you were a fan of Rockstar:INXS, you might be happy to know that when the show returns this summer, they'll be shaking things up a bit. After several bands in need of a lead singer (including the likes of Van Halen and Alice In Chains) turned down the opportunity to be part of the Rockstar's second season, creators had to come up with a new idea, pronto. So this is what's going to happen when the show comes back: Contestants will now have the chance to be crowned lead singer of a newly formed band consisting of some of rock's finest performers recruited for the show. This soon to be kick ass, dirty rockin', throw your bras up on stage and show us some titties "super group" will be called Supernova. To my ultimate delight, hot, hot, hot, Motley Crue drummer Tommy Lee, former bassest for Metallica Jason Newsted and ex Guns N' Roses guitarist Gilby Clark will all be band members. What a frick'n dream for an unknown to suddenly be thrown in a band with these guys. I mean, they are already going to have automatic groupies before they even put out a record. Holla!

Rockstar will also be inviting some of the first season's finalists to come back and compete a second time around. I'm not sure how much I like that idea or how fair it really is since past favorites will already have an "in" with the audience votes. It's being reported that Suzie McNeil (blah) who took 4th place in season one has already been asked to return. The show will also have some good 'ol friends of Dave Navarro (who will be returning) like Slash, Moby, Macy Gray and Rob Zombie stopping by as celebrity guests and throwing in their two cents on who sucks and who rocks. That will definitely add some spice to the show, but hopefully they won't end up as wimpy as the celebrity judges on Idol were. Source: E!