KATE MOSS. IS THIS HER REAL BABY DADDY?

Please! Please! Don't tell Sienna!!

Ooooooh! It was only a matter of time before Jefferson Hack, the father of Kate Moss's 2 year old daughter Lila Grace was going to do the smart thing and try to take custody away from that coke whore. Radar is speculating that this might open a very juicy can of worms because for years, it has been rumored in London's fashion circles that Lila Grace's real father is Jude Law, not Hack. Remember the earlier stories about the treesomes between Kate Moss, Jude Law & ex-wife Sadie Frost? A friend of the former couple tells Radar, “Sadie [Frost, Jude’s ex] and Kate are best, best friends, and Jude and Sadie were huge into couples swapping and orgies. They had group sex where absolutely everything was okay.” DNA test, anyone?

FILE THIS UNDER: "HEY BENJI! ARE YOU SURE YOU WANNA SAY THAT?"

You know how sometimes someone will do or say something so idiotic that you get embarrassed for them and after that are just kinda over them? Well, Benji Madden of the band Good Charlotte deserves that crown today. I just read the most ridiculous story on MTV.com about how he went off on Kelly Clarkson on Good Charlotte's website last month. Kelly was quoted in Entertainment Weekly saying she was disappointed that she has yet to be involved in one of those "pop rivalries" ala Britney/Christina. Kelly said, "I'm going to start a fight. Me and Hilary Duff. Isn't she always in the news for being in fights with some other chick? (That chick being Lindsay Lohan) "I want to be the new one. Two Texas girls go at it. And maybe throw in Beyonce (Knowles). That's three Texas girls." Cute, harmless, funny and obvious joke, right? Well, this is where it gets stupid. Apparently, Madden didn't see it that way, or maybe he is just a little too bent out of shape that Kelly is the one dominating the music charts of late. Hilary Duff (who just turned 18) is also his 26 year old twin brother Joel Madden's (also of Good Charlotte) little girlfriend. Benji went on to post the following on his website blog:

"My mom told me if I didn't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all, so I won't say 'Amercian Idol' sux, but it does make me laugh when someone like Kelly Clarkson disses someone like Hilary Duff, 'cause let's not forget Kelly (BTW-Kanye West thinks u have a nice a--, I saw him look at it one time ... me, I prefer the more fit look), you were a 'contestant' on a TV show. Hilary made herself."

And this guy calls himself punk rock???? First off, Kelly is known as probably one of the sweetest, most down to earth girls in pop music today and her quote was so obviously said in jest. Secondly, no question that Hilary Duff is a sweetheart and I even like that song she did that's the theme song to Laguna Beach. But we all know that Hilary did not "make" herself in music. She got her record deal because of her celebrity and the hit Disney TV show she was on. Truth be told, she can't sing for shit. Yes, Kelly may have been discovered on American Idol, but the girl can (as Paula Abdul would say,) "blow." And the comments he made about Kelly's booty "I prefer the more fit look", well, as a woman, I would trade bodies with Kelly any day over Duff's new lollipop look.

Benji Madden's idiotic posts were quickly removed off his website, probably due to overwhelming embarrassment and loss of punk rock cred. When MTV News talked to him the other night at Hilary's 18th birthday party he said, "Here's the thing, I heard that she said some petty things about someone I care deeply about, so I just made some petty remarks 'cause I'm a petty guy. Straight up, I'm from Waldorf, Maryland, you guys. Let's not forget that. You take shots, I take shots. I love you, Kelly- it's all good." Um, yah, whatever. Don't try to save face now! Seems like this wasn't the first time one of the Madden brother's did something idiotic to "defend" Hilary's honor. MTV News reported once that Joel (the one actually dating Hilary) made Lindsay Lohan's 8 year old little brother Cody cry when he refused to give him an autograph until his sister apologized for her feud with Duff. Now it makes even more sense why this 26 year old man dates a 17 (oops, just turned 18!) year old.

CONSTANTINE MAROULIS, SITCOM STAR?

Ahhhhhhh......Constantine. The voice, the smoldering looks to the camera and I still love him even after he fell on his ass and laughed after doing one of his famous kicks on television months ago. Well, the rumors are true, Constantine has officially signed a deal to star in an ABC sitcom produced by Kelsey Grammer's company! Details on the show have not been released yet. Oh I just hope he sings too! Maroulis, 30, who came in 6th place on last seasons American Idol tells People Magazine, "Idol" was the "best thing that's ever happened to me. I'm not cursed with that stigma of being the American Idol." Now that he is finished with the Idol tour, he is working on his solo album (yay!). Constantine also has a fan in Pulp Fiction director Quentin Tarantino. At a party in L.A. in June, Maroulis says Tarantino "kept saying I was going to be a big star. He was like, 'You sucked in the last song, but that's okay. You sang it great the night you went home.'" Aww Quentin, that's right!

LAWSUIT.

Jamie & Danny in happier times.

Danny Bonaduce aint taking no shit. The Breaking Bonaduce star filed a lawsuit Wednesday against his former Los Angeles radio partner Jamie White for allegedly slandering him on the air while he was in rehab last May. According to the Los Angeles Superior Court complaint, Bonaduce alleges White made "numerous false and defamatory statements" about him during his stay in a residential drug-treatment center. He quotes her as telling listeners: "I've been so patient about all of this crap, you know. I've been so freaking patient about and I've dealt with it, and I've dealt with [Bonaduce] being higher than a kite on this show." Bonaduce maintains that he "never was under the influence of alcohol or drugs while performing his broadcasting duties for the station." Even though Jamie is annoying as hell and I stopped listening to her show months ago for Seacrest, I have a feeling she was telling the truth. E!

SURREAL LIFE 6 CAST ANNOUNCED!

VH1 has announced its cast for the Surreal Life 6! The celebrities stuck in a house together for 12 days trying not to rip each others hair out will include:

STEVE HARWELL of Smashmouth (the band that used to be kinda cool before they became movie soundtrack whores); the best Jefferson of them all, SHERMAN HEMSLEY; I used to be hot video chick and now I'm just a loony tune and husband beater TAWNY KITAEN; C.C. DEVILLE from Poison; Playboy TV's covergirl (and this season's who the hell is that? cast member) ANDREA LOWELL; MAVEN, Former champ of Tough Enough and the sanest of all the Arquette's, ALEXIS (this sibling only dresses like a girl). Cast members will also be auditioning a group of male reality stars to see who will get the last spot in the house as the "reality hunk."

Plus, the best part of the new cast is the addition of the fab special guest star FLORENCE HENDERSON, who is sane enough not to live in that crazy house, but will be popping by as the cast's full time and on-call therapist/advisor. We all saw how great she was when she tried to set the sweet Christopher Knight (otherwise known as Peter Brady) straight about that hoochie mamma Adrienne on My Fair Brady a few weeks ago. Too bad Dr. Flo wasn't around The Surreal Life house this season with Omarosa and Janice Dickenson, now that would have been good. We love Florence!

Slated to air on VH1 in January, the sixth season of "The Surreal Life," will see this brand new cast move through a maze of outrageous events including taking over a small market TV newscast, a music video shoot and yes, transforming into a hair metal band. Should be entertaining as always, I can't wait!

HYGIENE PROBLEMS IN LAGUNA BEACH?

This Chad Michael Murray and Sophia Bush divorce story has really put me in a tailspin today. I completely forgot to write about last night's Laguna Beach episode, so sorry.

Alex and Casey: Um, o.k. what up with the whole Alex and Casey thing? First off, I like Alex even though she made a move on Jason when he was stupid Jessica's boyfriend. Um, but why in God's name would you admit in front of the cameras that "fake extension wearing, Imelda can you make me a friggin' "Kesadil-a" pour favor, ugly ass bitch" Casey told Jason and Cedric you had a "hygiene" problem? Why hun??? I wish that Jessica would have gone off on her at the beach and nailed that whore in the head for what she said! Alex went off on Jessica in Cabo for kissing Jason more than she went off on Casey! Seriously, what was that all about? Maybe this is the real reason why Jason blew her off, he was afraid of what he might encounter. I still can't believe she talked about that in front of the cameras and turned it into a segment, how embarrassing! Alex, we like you and don't believe it for a minute. Tell that Casey to shove her quesadilla up her ass! Better yet, please do it for her!

Talan/Kristen/Stephen: Ok, even if I don't think Talan is cute and can't understand how he gets all these girls, I want this kid to cook dinner fo' me! Did you see his elaborate shrimp cocktail with lettuce decor and all? Oh my gaw. Wait, how is he suddenly in love with Kristen, I thought he had a thing for Taylor a few episodes ago? Kristen was supposed to be his "slut with benefits" and Taylor was his dream girl. He's too all over the place, I can't keep track of him not to mention the fact that he bores me. Love the fact that he nailed it about Kristen going to see Stephen in San Francisco, boo hoo. Now Kristen and Stephen...oh, I am soooo over them! It was really uncomfortable watching this whole visit, Kristen couldn't have looked more uncomfortable and Stephen couldn't have looked more heartbroken. Although if I was Kristen, hearing Stephen call me "buddy" over and over would have got on my last nerve. Not to mention, why didn't he pick up/drop her off at the airport? Since Kristen was such a bitch to him, I was laughing by the end of the episode that he made her take a taxi. OH! And give me my sweatshirt back bitch! I can see why Stephen was bent out of shape. He planned this nice visit, took her to see the fireworks and then she severely shot that boy down, "you keep treating me like I'm your girlfriend and I don't want that." Ouch. Must have been nice for him to have a camera 2 feet away from his face when he was holding back tears in his truck. I felt a tiny bit bad for Stephen, but he got what he deserved. It's that good 'ol friend we call Karma, motherchucker! That's what he gets for playing my girl L.C. and all. I still remember how sad she was when he went back to school after winter break and did he call her? Noooooo. Did he drive home and take her out for Valentine's Day? Nooooooo, he took the ungrateful Kristen out instead. All L.C. got was a flyby visit where he threw some chocolates at her. Tsk, tsk. And whatta-ya-know? Previews for next week show Stephen running back to L.C. and saying to her "what do you think if me and you ever had a relationship that lasted?" That stinking bastard! Just a random thought, I wonder how that cutie Trey is doing...I always liked him.

And, don't even get me started on "My Super Sweet 16!" Aaaaarrrgggghhh!

href="http://tabloidwhore.blogspot.com/2005/11/laguna-beach-finale-one-last-wave.html">
Laguna Beach Finale
Laguna Beach: LC Gets Her Own Show
Laguna Beach: What's Happening Now
Laguna Beach's Kristin Lands Movie Role
Laguna Beach Recap: LC and Jason, DUNZO!
L.C and Jason? Oh. My. Gaw.
Laguna Beach Secrets

ABERCROMBIE NICK?

Here's a little good news to cheer us up from all that divorce horror. Abercrombie + Fitch has reportedly offered hunka hunka Nick Lachey (that's Mr. Lacky to you haters!) $750,000 to appear in it's upcoming ad campaign including billboards, magazine ads and even their saucy catalog. Nick is one hot tamale and the ladies love him. This would definately be a good thing. Plus, seeing him in those hot ads will remind my lovely Jessica never to take that cutie pie for granted. Oh Nick, you're sooo dreamy! TEEN HOLLYWOOD

AWW GEEZ, KATHY GRIFFIN DIVORCING!

Is there something in the freakin' water in La La Land??? I just was starting to get over the shock of Sophia and Chad's divorce and now Kathy Griffin and her husband of 4 1/2 years Matt Moline are on the same path! We all got to know Matt on Kathy's show, "The D List" and he seemed like an alright guy. The poor thing even put up with Kathy making him her DVD bitch, selling them at her shows. Yah, that must have not been very fun. "Irreconcilable Differences" was stated as the reason for divorce. The divorce papers were filed Friday in Superior Court. Griffin asks that the couple's assets be divided and that Moline be denied spousal support. That is sad, Kathy's my girl. Geesh. Maybe she left him for Clay. AP

OH NO! CHAD AND SOPHIA DIVORCING!!!

Aaaargh! I'm sooooo mad! One of the most beautiful looking couples to ever walk the planet are getting a divorce after only 5 months of marriage. One Tree Hill co-star's Chad Michael Murray (Lucas) and Sophia Bush (Brooke) have called it quits. They married this past April in Santa Monica.

"This is a difficult and unfortunate situation," Bush said in a statement. "I am glad this is being resolved sooner rather than later." Murray issued a statement of his own, saying: "I am saddened to announce that Sophia and I are separating. This is a very difficult time for me."

This is a very difficult time for me too Chad. I mean, what is going to happen on One Tree Hill between Brooke and Lucas now? Last season's cliffhanger left us with Lucas finally confessing his love to Brooke and she finally dumped the creepy Felix guy! I love those two together and now this potentially could mess up a good storyline! We don't want Lucas back with Peyton or lesbian Anna...we want Brooke!

Damn you Chad...This is what happens when you are caught by photographers leaving a strip club so soon after your marriage, but I didn't want to believe you were doing anything bad to my girl Sophia. But I heard the rumors, yes, we all heard the rumors Chad. Jerk! CNN

STEP ON INTO THE BARN: FOREST WHITAKER JOINS THE SHIELD.

Ahhhh yah! Things are going to be heating up even more in Farmington when the Shield returns in January for its fifth season. Last season we got some Glen Close, this season, we got the man, Forest Whitaker. He has joined the cast as a regular playing Detective Jon Kavanaugh, an ambitious newcomer to the Los Angeles Police Department's Internal Affairs division who is tasked with investigating rogue cop Mackey (played by the brilliant Michael Chiklis), and the strike force he leads. Series creator and executive producer Shawn Ryan says the character of Kavanaugh "will present the biggest danger to Vic and his team in the history of the series so far."

The Shield is one of the most intense, awesome cop dramas on television. It's the kind of show that makes you scream and gasp with horror when you least expect it. Plus, it has some of the best writing on television today. We love everyone at The Shield, especially Chicky!! Now Forest Whitaker is coming? This is going to be too good. I can't wait until...arrrgh! January???

WHO'S YOUR DADDY? BO BICE!!

Congrats to my favorite American Idol Bo(licious) Bice, he's officially a daddy! His wife Carolyn gave birth to their baby Aidan Bice on Saturday. I love the name Aidan! This is sure to be a bright spot for Bo who has dealt with some health problems of late. First he broke his foot on stage during the Idol tour and then was rushed into emergency surgery to repair a blockage in his intestines. Bo, we're so happy for you!!

BREAKING BONADUCE

Between The Surreal Life, Hogan Knows Best & My Fair Brady (just to name a few), VH1 has become the place for whacked out reality shows. Nothing has been so intense as its latest creation, "Breaking Bonaduce." I've wanted to write about this show for a while, it's already a couple episodes in. But you know how the cable stations are, if you've missed an episode there will always be a marathon to catch up on, so here we go. First off, it's a heartbreaking show. Not to mention, if you live in Los Angeles and became a fan of Danny's when he hosted the morning show with Jamie on Star 98.7 (he has since been let go) it's even more heartbreaking. The Bonadoooch has pretty much always been, just as he describes himself in the shows opening credits, "a car crash." Although, for the past several years it had seemed as though he was turning his life around with the help of his saint of a wife Gretchen and the birth of his two children who he adores more than anything.

But in Breaking Bonaduce, something has changed and Danny is starting to crumble. VH1 describes the show as: a compelling, offbeat look inside the numerous issues that exist in the relationship between Danny Bonaduce, his wife, Gretchen, and their two children. For the first time ever in non-scripted television, a series will be told through a combination of couples therapy and reality. The Bonaduce's will be guided and challenged by their combative therapist, Dr. Garry Corgiatt. Dr. Garry is their sounding board, sparring partner and hopeful conduit to success.

The first episode starts out with the revelation that Danny had an affair. Old news to radio listeners who heard the tearful phone call from Gretchen early one morning, but still equally tragic. This is a woman whom he credits with saving his life, someone who stood by him through all his madness for 15 years and married him after only 7 hours of knowing him. What comes next is a look into the very dark world of Bonaduce, who struggles with the continual temptations of other women, alcohol abuse, steroids and severe anger issues, all while trying to hide who he really is from his children and be a good father and husband.

He's not the funny, silly Bonaduce we have seen on Geraldo & Sally Jesse over the years. He's a brand new, kinda scary Bonaduce and a written description just can't do this show justice. It's dark, it's intense, it'll creep you out at times and it's addictive. This ain't no Hollywood glamour reality show. Bonaduce is one of those guys who has messed up so many times, but you still root for him to crawl out of the darkness, again and again and again.

At the very least, please watch the shows entire trailer, it will give you chills.

DEMI AND ASHTON FINALLY GET HITCHED!!

Oh Yay! Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher reportedly got married in Los Angeles on Saturday! I'm so happy for them, I think they make a really great, solid and adorable couple. I can't wait to hear more details about the wedding. Good luck to them!!!

Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore are now husband and wife. The star couple were married Saturday night in Los Angeles, a source confirms to PEOPLE. No other details were available, and the couple's rep declined to comment. Read More...

CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM: SEASON FIVE!

"Mommy! Mommy! That bum is in the bathroom and there's something hard in his pants!"

From "The Doll," Curb Your Enthusiasm Season 2

I am so excited!! One of my favorite shows, Curb Your Enthusiasm, is coming back (finally!) Sunday night at 10pm on HBO for Season #5. In the premiere episode called, "The Larry David Sandwich," Larry David is changed by a near death experience, a revelation about his father and a sandwich that is named after him. Yah, I don't know what the hell they are talking about either, but I do know it will be laugh-out-loud funny. Along with the rest of the cast, the fab Richard Lewis will be back too! Here's what HBO has to say about Curb Your Enthusiasm:

Having evolved from the 1999 HBO special Larry David: Curb Your Enthusiasm, this series proves how seemingly trivial details of one's day-to-day life--a trip to the movies, a phone call, a visit from some trick-or-treaters--can precipitate a "Murphy's Law" chain of misfortune to hilarious effect. Like George Costanza in Seinfeld, the protagonist of Curb Your Enthusiasm has a knack for getting himself into uncomfortable situations that end up alienating him from peers and acquaintances.

It's time for some good laughs people. If you don't have HBO, then by all means, please go out and buy the first four seasons on DVD. You don't know what you're missing.

SOMEBODY PLEASE GET MINDY MCCREADY HELP, SHE OVERDOSED AGAIN.

Oh Lord. I am not a fan of country music, I don't even know any songs by this Mindy McCready chick (apparently she had a hit in 1996 called "Guys Do It All The Time)...but what I do know is that I have read a ton of nightmarish stories about her the past few months. The latest in her saga is that early Friday the PREGNANT singer was hospitalized after overdosing on anti-depressants after a fight with the father of her unborn child and is now in fair condition. According to a police report, McCready, 29, and baby daddy William McKnight were arguing on the phone about whether his parents would help pay for the pregnancy. He cursed at McCready and she became angry and took about 30 antidepressant pills. In recent months McCready has been arrested for drunk driving, overdosed on drugs in another suicide attempt after learning she was pregnant, and was hospitalized earlier in the year after McKnight viciously beat and tried to kill her by punching her in the face and choking her. And that's just the Cliff's notes version. It's so sad because she has a little, innocent baby in her tummy. McCready was scheduled to appear on Oprah later this month. With this latest suicide attempt, who knows if she will make it. Let's hope, because that angel Oprah can work miracles!

FILE THIS UNDER "EW."

ok, well ya, he still looks hot in this picture, but still....

Female First is reporting that good 'ol boy Brad Pitt is ready and willing to adopt Angelina Jolie's two children, Maddox & Zahara. Apparently he is desperate to become their legal father and has already contacted his lawyers about getting the process started. Normally I would not believe this because Angelina seems to be pretty independant, not to mention protective of her children and I don't see her handing over rights to those kids easily, but all those reports of Maddox calling Pitt "Daddy" make me think twice. I'm sorry, but something about "Puppy Dog Pitt" being in such a rush to do all this just gives me the "tacky" creeps now.

In other Angelina baby news, it looks as though Zahara's mother has been found "alive and well" and is not dead as claimed in adoption papers. The Sun newspaper tracked down 18-year old Mentawe Dawit who says she is Zahara's birth mother. Thankfully, she wont challenge Jolie's adoption and is smart enough to see that the baby will have a better life with Angelina. She told The Sun, "I am so grateful to this lady for giving my daughter a better life. I want them both to know I love them very much. I want to say thank you to Angelina for giving my baby this wonderful, loving family”, the 18-year-old girl added."I want to ask just one thing of Angelina - which is that she gives my child the education I would love for her. In the future I would like to know about her condition, but I will never try to interfere with their lives”, Dawit said.

HA! DUMPED BY UGLY GUY.

Ha! Ha! Gee, surprise, surprise! That whore Paris Hilton's wedding to her cutesy same named boyfriend Paris Latsis is off! People have been speculating for a couple months now that things were off as Hilton hasn't been seen around town holding his hand and groping him. The thing that makes her such a loser is that she has been denying the break-up in the press and telling everyone they are still getting married in Greece, looking at places for the wedding and talking about wedding dresses, etc. Maybe darling Paris didn't want to admit that her fiances conservative and extremely wealthy Greek Orthodox parents thought she was trash and were embarrassed by her and her "One Night in Paris" exploits. Hey Paris! I hear that D.J. AM's parents just LOVE Nicole! A source has told Radar that "For their son to even think of marrying such a woman is an insult to the entire family. She simply looks like a promiscuous innkeeper's daughter to them. Paris [Latsis] knew this, which is why he didn't tell his mother the whole story. He knew she wouldn't agree to the match. Apparently, Latsis kicked Ms. Hilton and her big diamond ring (oww! my finger hurts!) to the curb on "orders from his family, specifically his mother," the source says. "It's a reality check for her and her parents." Ahahaha! I love the line about her being the "promiscuous innkeepers daughter." Poor little Paris who got engaged probably just because Nicole Richie did, now she won't be able to say "I'm better!" and beat her to the alter like she hoped. What's up next for Hilton? Probably even more humiliation when she releases this "hot" record (which i'm sure is overproduced and horrible) that she has been talking about forever. Eeeeech! Please make her go away already! Hate her!

ACTRESS TARYN MANNING IN JETBLUE SCARE

Hustle and Flow co-star Taryn Manning had the scare of her life while aboard JetBlue flight 292 Wednesday. Manning was among the 145 passengers and crew on the plane en route from Burbank's Bob Hope Airport to New York's JFK that was forced to make an emergency landing due to defective landing gear (the planes front nose wheels were twisted, yikes!). In an interview with Access Hollywood, Manning said, "You never think it is going to happen to you. I wrote little notes to my boyfriend, my mom and my brother...I was not wanting to be writing what I was writing...everybody was putting their ID's on them, It was scary." Since JetBlue has that nifty DirectTV, passenger's were able to watch the horrifying drama they were living play out live on television. Before attempting to land, the pilot flew over the ocean to burn off fuel and finally, after a three hour ordeal and amidst the burning, smoking and ripping tires, the plane landed successfully at LAX.

Taryn's a cool chick (not to mention has a really great band called Boomkat). I'm glad she and everyone else on the plane is ok!

PRAYER, SCHMAYER!

Oh how I love my girl Anne Heche. Ok, so she may have been a little crazy at one point in her life, but she is a fab actress, let alone person. Heche recently posted a message to fans on her website (thanks to the fab CI for the scoop) regarding her religious mother Nancy's claims that "prayer" was the reason for Anne's breakup with Ellen DeGeneres and why Anne went back to the boys. Apparently, Anne's mom has been using Anne's name to promote this at "Ex-Gay" events. What in the world??? Anyway, Anne is just disgusted with her mother and has no contact with her. Anne felt the need to speak out and told her fans the following:

"Ellen and I had a three and a half year relationship that ended sadly, not because we were both women, but because we both wanted different things for our lives. This NONSENSE about my mother praying for me is really making me angry. My mother never approved of my relationship with Ellen. Her hatred for our relationship is one of the many things that ultimately led to my breaking off all communication with her. (My mother, that is, not Ellen.) The "Ex-gay" events that are going on right now make me sick. The fact that my mother is using my name to promote this movement makes me even sicker. I could not disagree more adamantly with what she and her group of unloving, unaccepting, Bible preaching hate mongers are doing. I do not believe that homosexuality is something that should be brainwashed out of someone. I do not believe that homosexuality should be anything but celebrated if that is the thing that makes an individual feel good about their life. I believe, as I have always said, that people should love who they want to love. And for anyone who ever thought that Ellen and I broke it off because of sexuality, you couldn't be more mistaken. And for anyone who thought my mother's prayers had anything to do with me marrying a man, forget it. I can safely say that my mother has nothing to do with any decision I make. It has always disturbed me the way religion can twist something to make people feel badly about themselves. Isn't a loving heart an accepting, caring heart? Certainly my mother has never been "loving." But that's just my humble opinion."

Ahh Anne, will ya just get rid of that Coley fellow and marry me? ;)

CHEATER!

Ahhhhh, when the cat's away the mice will play. New details are coming out about Tori Spelling's split from husband Charlie Shanian. People Magazine spoke with the actress who admitted to falling in love with her Mind Over Murder (yay! a new cheesy made for tv movie!) co-star Dean McDermott while away on location. Naughty, naughty, Tori! Apparently Ms. Spelling could not be faithful to her husband because she was away on set for a whole three weeks and according to a friend, "realized that her relationship with her husband was not right for her." Well, gee, yah...being married is a big inconvenience when you want to screw your co-star. Damn Marriage! It always gets in the way! So, this guy she had the affair with, Dean McDermott, it looks like he was also married, but of course, they say that marriage was not working either. What a coincidence!! "It just happened," says Spelling's friend. "No one meant any harm to anyone. You can't help who you fall in love with and who you're right with." Mwah, mwah, mwah...give me a break. McDermott filed for divorce on September 9 from his wife of 12 years, Mary Jo Eustace. Nice. What's on Spelling's to do list now? Well she tells People Magazine she would like to sit down with her husband and "talk about this in detail." And more importantly, "decide who will live where," because as Spelling explains, "It's not easy to make decisions like this, and it takes time to know what you are going to do." Slut!

WHO'S YOUR DADDY?

Oh Amber Frey. Lovely hardluck Amber Frey. The Daily News is reporting that Amber apparently mixed up who the baby daddy to her adorable four year old daughter Ayina was. Since the child was born, 29-year old hairstylist Anthony Flores was told by Frey he was the babies father and even paid some child support. Recently, when Flores was fighting for visitation rights and Frey refused to let him see Ayina, he told the court he wanted a paternity test. You know what's coming next...just like a great episode of "Maury," Flores was told, "uhh uh! You ain't this baby daddy!" Who's the father? Well, in a perfect tabloid world the father would be Scott Peterson, but since she already had this baby when she met Peterson, we'll have to settle on the father being a man named Christopher Finch in the good 'ol town of Frezzy Frez. Finch owns a nightclub named "Porky's." Enough said. Hey Gloria! Why don't you hop in front of the cameras now!

BIG BROTHER 6 FINALE

"Ivette gave up $450,000...she learned nothing from me!"

"I am offended by your statement against Ivette & have also perfected my (head flip), offended look for the camera."


"James, buddy, I'm sorry but me wearing your 'Underwears' did not work."


"Ivette, how stupid are you for not taking my deal?!"


"I still don't understand how shitty America could chose Janelle over me, a NEWLYWED!!"


"How am I not in the final 2? I should have never brought that damn Sarah as my partner."


"You are NOT really thinking of voting for Ivette! Howie! You better swing the vote!"


"I may not be in the final 2, but America loves me most! Bye, bye, bitches!"

Ivette: "Um, Maggie. I think they hate us."
Maggie: "Damn. KoolAid. Wearing. Off."

"I don't understand how America can love a Muslim over a fireman."

"Yes Eric. America loves me! Don't forget to watch me on Young and The Restless!"

"Hey America! You likes how I threw in that last jab to the Nerd Herd? I am still a Jedi!"

"America! I was just kidding, haaa haaa, abooout saying you were all hahhaaa haaaa 'Pieces of Shit!' Please don't attack me on the street anyone! It was a JOKE!"

"Hey Jen. Aside from having no soul, you are a dumbass who needs to think for herself."

"Yah, I'm a dumbass."

"Oh my God! They like me! America really likes me!"
Um, no Maggie.

"oops."

YOU WERE NEVER MY BOYFRIEND DAMN YOU JERRY!

That's what E!'s sweet Giuliana De Pandi was saying tonight when she was forced to announce the story of her ex-boyfriend Jerry O'Connell's engagement to Rebecca Romijn on tonight's broadcast of E! News. How horrible. Could anything be more nightmarish? To celebrate the occasion, Guiliana wore a T-Shirt with the phrase, "You Were Never My Boyfriend," throughout the program. Heh. Good laughs for those who knew she is an ex of that O'Connell fellow. You go, girl.

Other random things happening....Oh yay! We got our "three" in the Hollywood divorce game. The latest marriage to hit the skids is Soprano's star Jamie Lynn DiScala and her husband. I know, pretty boring, but she gave us a third divorce, so thank you Jamie Lynn. Oh dear, now she is going to have to deal with all that paperwork to go back from DiScala to Sigler! Marriage is such a pain in the ass!

Awww, No Girl! These titties are R-E-A-L! Tyra told that to me and all the rest of us girls watching her new talk show today (yay! bonus for staying home sick!) I just love Tyra to death. First off, I'm obsessed with America's Next Top Model (even though I was sooo not feeling last season's winner Naima and which by the way is premiering its new season tonight on UPN!!! WATCH FOOLS!) I loved when Oprah used to have her on as a guest and Ms. Tyra spent the hour telling girls how she had cellulite and zits too...it just made her so real to all of us ladies! Well, I've only seen her new talk show twice, but I think it is awesome and will now have to TiVo it. Today the show was all about Boobies. Howie from Big Brother 6 would have gone nuts! So, Tyra...because she's a girls girl y'know, wanted to show that she is just like us. She first kicked out all the men from the studio audience and then took off her Victoria's Secret bra to show her boobs sagged without it. Now if that was not enough, she then brought out Garth Fisher from Extreme Makeover and had him do a "touch test" where he literally felt up her braless boobs (ha! take that Brooke Burke!) and confirmed to all of us that they were indeed, real! Tyra, you're the best!

Lastly, for all you who are MTV's Laguna Beach fans, when the hell did Jessica become the new breakout star of the show?! I will admit, she is an idiot and the way she talks annoys the hell out of me ("I-Wuz-like-Xtreemly- BBBuMMMed OuT-like-y'know.) I rolled my eyes at Jessica and her idiot boyfriend Jason and just wished for the Stephen/Lauren/Kristen triangle. Now, I find my self obsessed with Jessica/Jason/Alex. Not because they are interesting people, they are just obsessively mind numbing. Let me make this clear...I hate, hate, hate, that weasel Jason and don't understand how these girls can go so nuts for him. What an idiot he is! Anytime one of them will ask him a question about their relationship he can't even answer and resorts to mumbles or "huh? ugh, duh, um, yes, no." Loser! That Jessica is annoying as hell but I am obsessed with her and, oh my Gawd! What about the freakin' hickey girlfriend had on her neck in last night's episode? Um, yah Jess, it sure does look like a "birthmark." Hickey's are soooo 1987! I was actually surprised when she had one as I thought blow jobs were the new hickeys for teens today. Oh, and we cannot forget the fab Alex (who I prefer to think of as the poor man's Kelly Clarkson). I have been a little disappointed in her since she started dating Jason because she has become whinny and clingy with him ("hug me! kiss me! act like you're happy to see me!") when before she seemed like someone that would give that creep Jason a run for his money. She started dating Jason practically the day after he and Jessica broke up and now is mad that soon after he and Jessica hooked up again. Yah, Jessica is stupid (stop calling him!!), Jason is still a loser (and I'm sorry, not cute) and Alex has learned that karma, not Jessica, is quite the bitch.

THREESOME.

Kate. Jude. Sadie. Threesome.

That's what News of The World is reporting went on when Jude Law and his ex-wife Sadie Frost were still married. Plus, It's just another thing to add to the laundry list of drugged out behavior from the "Fabulous Life!" of model Kate Moss. Moss, who was also caught on film last week doing lines of coke, allegedly has had on-going lesbian relationships with both Sadie Frost and actress Davinia Taylor not to mention, those three have also taken a dip in the "threesome pool" together. Poor old Jude was only invited to join in because he was jealous of Kate and Sadie (and we all know how good 'ol boy acts when he feels neglected), and Kate thought this was a way to get him to shut the hell up.

News of The World claims:

Our dossier shows Sadie has been the major focus of Kate's bisexual lust. And it caused friction with Jude Law and flamenco star Jackson Scott, the lover Sadie took up with after her split from her husband. Kate dealt with the Jude problem simply by getting the sex-mad actor involved. Another source close to Sadie Frost told us: "Sadie doesn't really fancy other women, but it has become normal between her and Kate. Jude started to hate it when his wife was alone with Kate. "So they had threesomes--Jude, Kate and Sadie--because he didn't like it when he wasn't involved. At one of Kate's parties Sadie was having sex openly with Kate and they were all over each other's breasts.

"Sadie and Jackson split in August. And we can reveal that Sadie's relationship with Kate has also cooled. "Kate went off Sadie when she split from Jude. She'd sleep with people if they were important," said a source close to the actress. "Sadie is in love with Kate, she is possessive over her but Kate is not so interested in her now. I was told that Sadie went mad when she heard Kate was trying to get off with Davinia."

If you aren't completely over this loser Kate Moss like I am, you can Read the full News of The World story about her life of sex and drugged out maddness. Yuck, Kate Moss has just become so, ugh, yucky, gross, skanky, dirty, blech. Put away the freakin' mirror, razor blade and rolled up hundy sister. Seriously, get rid of her already. eeegh. You know what I mean? Buh-Bye bitches.

PAULA'S NEW STALLION!

Oh sweet Lord. Look at the delicious hunk that lovable loony-toon Paula Abdul snagged herself. Girl, you done good! See ladies, we can get rewarded with a gem after dealing with a real stinker (aka Corey Clark). Ms. Abdul has a new boyfriend, model Dante Spencer (stats: 6'2 and 30 years old, ladies! Holla!). Don't they make a beautiful couple?! I had fully intended to throw in my usual Paula jokes in this post, but I can't stop staring at the picture of them and how great they look together. I'm happy for Paula. You can only imagine the depths of how bad her life must have been going to get involved with creepy Corey. She deserves this hunk after she had to put up with all that crap from that skinny greaseball. Ew! We will no longer mention that slim anymore! Back to Mr. Dream man....Spencer confirms he and Abdul are an item and told People Magazine they met about three months ago Salsa dancing at L.A.'s Mood. "I saw her and went right up to her. Before I said one word she turned around and said 'who are you?' And it's been great ever since." That lucky bitch! If it could only be that easy for all us girls. Spencer also said that the relationship progressed slowly and they have been dating a month and a half. Let's hope this relationship works out for our girl Paula as she has NOT had good luck in love. Maybe now that she finally found help for that chronic neck pain she will be able to have have a good, happy, healthy relationship and not have to be all hopped up on the pain pills. Plus, she's gonna be in a good mood on that sham of a show American Idol this season and you know what that means....more dancing in her freakin' seat and trying to make out with Simon. Oh man, Paula Abdul 1) without chronic neck pain and 2) getting sexed up every night from hunky 6'2 model Dante Spencer? Watch out people...Paula's gonna be a brand new woman! Bye, bye, bitches!

NIP/TUCK SEASON 3: IT'S HERE!!

Oh yay! After what seemed like forever, Nip/Tuck is back Tuesday at 10pm on FX Networks for a brand new season! I have no doubt that this is going to be an amazing season and if you don't already watch, please start! I have some friends who say "ohhh I can't stand that surgery stuff, it grosses me out!" Well, toughen up people! It's all fake blood, guts and lipo juice, no worries! Plus, that's not even what they center the show around. According to TV Guide's "Rouse Rave" this is what the season premiere holds for us:

"Cutting-edge" barely describes the jaw dropping nerve of FX's Nip/Tuck as it returns for a third adults-only season of gripping sexual and psychological drama. Graphic and grotesque, yet at moments unexpectedly tender, the season opener explores the damaged psyche of playboy plastic surgeon Christian (Julian McMahon), a victim of serial slasher the Carver and the crumbling marriage of his partner, Sean (Dylan Walsh). The use of patient as metaphor is a bit much-in the opener, an obese woman is stuck to her couch (or, quoting her daughter, "trapped under the weight of your own fear")-but there is no more addictively provocative show on TV."

Tee-hee! "Adults only season!" You know what that means....Dr. Troy will be very, very, naughty! YES! I must admit that last season did not give us enough of the Christian Troy sex scenes fans had become accustomed to in Season One which was a little disappointing. Me and my friend would talk after the next week's previews and say, "It looks like we might get some Christian sex next week, woohoo!" So, I'm glad that Season 3 seems to be a bit more promising! Boys, to woo the ladies, take notes on Dr. Christian Troy. Oh! One other super exciting thing coming to Season 3 is my favorite actress Anne Heche!! (And no, I did not become a fan during the whole Ellen phase, we are talking Another World Vicky/Marley circa 1987 thank you very much!) The brilliant Ms. Heche recently told E! News, "I just joined Nip/Tuck for a little bit of their season. I can tell you that I come on and kind of wreak havoc with Dylan Walsh, so I'm very excited about that. I can tell you that they have transformed me to the point where you probably won't know it's me." Ohhhh! Could she be playing the fat lady stuck to her couch? Whatever she does, It's going to be great because she is an amazing actress! Yay! Nip/Tuck Season Three!

DID YOU TEAR UP?

Jedi Janey evicted on Big Brother 6.

Arrgh!!! Say it was just a bad dream last night! Damn! I'm so bummed, Janelle is gone and the Big Brother withdrawal process has begun. Janey fans (who is practically everyone watching the show) are crushed and pissed off that our Big Brother finale will have no suspense, no chance of the last great player in the house winning. Actually, forget watching the freakin' finale on Tuesday, I'm taking names of who wants to go out and booze it up in honor of Janelle! Like the rest of America I'm sure, I don't even care who wins the $500,000 grand now. Actually, I take that back. Even though Maggie does not deserve it because all she did was feed the girlscout troup more Kool-Aid so they "would not go against the Cappy Cult," I hope she does so Ivette doesn't get her grubby hands on any of it. How stupid was she last night??!! Marcellas Reynolds will now be happy that he does not have that "I made the stupidest mistake in Big Brother history by not using the veto" crown atop his head anymore because Ivette took it from him last night! Attention Big Brother casting: Next time bring in more people who want to play the real game, not freakin' Romper Room! All this time we had to put up with Ivette whining and crying about how much her family needs the money and how mad they would be at her if she didn't go for the money! What does she do at the end? Give her one possible shot at the money away!! What and idiot!!! Actually, I think if she went up against Janelle , Janelle could have beat her because James and April were swing votes...but it was not for sure. Maggie, well, since their has been some weird fascination with her from the beginning, I think she might win by a landslide. Who knows though, things change in the sequester house...but when it really comes down to it, I don't give a damn who wins, but I would like Ivette to pay for her stupid mistake. Damn, it's really hard when you have to pick from two people you dislike. Oh, and another reason why Ivette should not win $$$--how EMBARRASSED were you for her when she kept yelling out to the sky, "I JUST WON $50,000 FOR MY FAMILY, I JUST WON $50,000 IN MIRACLES FOR MY FAMILY!" (not after taxes sweetheart!!! How ya like that 50k over the 500k now?) All while Maggie stood next to her and giggled and tried to sound convincing saying, "no-you-won-five-hundred-thousand," full knowing that the grand prize money is now hers. So in the end, unless a miracle happens (please don't let it), stupid Ivette chose to hand her friend that she has known for 3 months $500,000 over her suffering family. Hey, Maggie! Can ya loan me some of that Kool-Aid?