Tabloid Whore!



That's what E!'s sweet Giuliana De Pandi was saying tonight when she was forced to announce the story of her ex-boyfriend Jerry O'Connell's engagement to Rebecca Romijn on tonight's broadcast of E! News. How horrible. Could anything be more nightmarish? To celebrate the occasion, Guiliana wore a T-Shirt with the phrase, "You Were Never My Boyfriend," throughout the program. Heh. Good laughs for those who knew she is an ex of that O'Connell fellow. You go, girl.

Other random things happening....Oh yay! We got our "three" in the Hollywood divorce game. The latest marriage to hit the skids is Soprano's star Jamie Lynn DiScala and her husband. I know, pretty boring, but she gave us a third divorce, so thank you Jamie Lynn. Oh dear, now she is going to have to deal with all that paperwork to go back from DiScala to Sigler! Marriage is such a pain in the ass!

Awww, No Girl! These titties are R-E-A-L! Tyra told that to me and all the rest of us girls watching her new talk show today (yay! bonus for staying home sick!) I just love Tyra to death. First off, I'm obsessed with America's Next Top Model (even though I was sooo not feeling last season's winner Naima and which by the way is premiering its new season tonight on UPN!!! WATCH FOOLS!) I loved when Oprah used to have her on as a guest and Ms. Tyra spent the hour telling girls how she had cellulite and zits just made her so real to all of us ladies! Well, I've only seen her new talk show twice, but I think it is awesome and will now have to TiVo it. Today the show was all about Boobies. Howie from Big Brother 6 would have gone nuts! So, Tyra...because she's a girls girl y'know, wanted to show that she is just like us. She first kicked out all the men from the studio audience and then took off her Victoria's Secret bra to show her boobs sagged without it. Now if that was not enough, she then brought out Garth Fisher from Extreme Makeover and had him do a "touch test" where he literally felt up her braless boobs (ha! take that Brooke Burke!) and confirmed to all of us that they were indeed, real! Tyra, you're the best!

Lastly, for all you who are MTV's Laguna Beach fans, when the hell did Jessica become the new breakout star of the show?! I will admit, she is an idiot and the way she talks annoys the hell out of me ("I-Wuz-like-Xtreemly- BBBuMMMed OuT-like-y'know.) I rolled my eyes at Jessica and her idiot boyfriend Jason and just wished for the Stephen/Lauren/Kristen triangle. Now, I find my self obsessed with Jessica/Jason/Alex. Not because they are interesting people, they are just obsessively mind numbing. Let me make this clear...I hate, hate, hate, that weasel Jason and don't understand how these girls can go so nuts for him. What an idiot he is! Anytime one of them will ask him a question about their relationship he can't even answer and resorts to mumbles or "huh? ugh, duh, um, yes, no." Loser! That Jessica is annoying as hell but I am obsessed with her and, oh my Gawd! What about the freakin' hickey girlfriend had on her neck in last night's episode? Um, yah Jess, it sure does look like a "birthmark." Hickey's are soooo 1987! I was actually surprised when she had one as I thought blow jobs were the new hickeys for teens today. Oh, and we cannot forget the fab Alex (who I prefer to think of as the poor man's Kelly Clarkson). I have been a little disappointed in her since she started dating Jason because she has become whinny and clingy with him ("hug me! kiss me! act like you're happy to see me!") when before she seemed like someone that would give that creep Jason a run for his money. She started dating Jason practically the day after he and Jessica broke up and now is mad that soon after he and Jessica hooked up again. Yah, Jessica is stupid (stop calling him!!), Jason is still a loser (and I'm sorry, not cute) and Alex has learned that karma, not Jessica, is quite the bitch.


Anonymous ci said...

There is much that I could say about this show, which I am also totally obsessed with, particularly the Jason/Jessica/Alex thing. First off though -- who said Jessica was the show's 'breakout star'?? do you just mean she gets a lot of airtime? Because Kristin is still the one who gets her picture in US magazine and all that. But anyway, let me weigh in by saying that I do not understand why jessica did not get back up into Alex's face when they fought on last night's episode and say, step back bitch, you stole my boyfriend in the first place!! And attack back using that strategy. I COULD NOT understand why she was apologizing in the first place and why everyone seemed to think it was her who had done the wrong thing -- why didn't people hate Alex for obviously flirting with Jason when he was still with Jessica?? My head reels with the stupidity of it all.

That said, I think Jessica is coming off really terribly in these last few episodes and I wonder if it's because of the way they edit her parts, or if it's just her truly whiny passive agressive nature coming out. She clearly makes for a horrible girlfriend -- never satisfied, always whining about something, always accusing. Now that she's the ex and out of the loops she's stalking Jason in an embarassing and demeaning way. Alex isn't acting any better though -- I think she's equally pathetic. What I can't tell from the show is how recently Jessica and Jason "hooked up" and what that meant exactly. Did they kiss? have sex? or just talk alone. It is very unclear and i wish I could get some background information in order to clarify these issues.

6:48 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Tabloid Whore! said...

By Breakout Star I meant ya, she is getting sooo much airtime and her storyline is the one i'm obesessed with, just like you are! Kristin is in all those magazines but she becomes more annoying and more annoying. Although, I did like her the night jess and jason broke up and she ran over to jessica's house and was sweet to her. I also have wondered about the editing and timeline of the show...maybe a lot of time passed between the breakup and her hooking up with jason, but I dont think so. I agree, Jessica should have yelled back to her in cabo "he was my boyfriend bitch and you still took him to that dance!" Jason is such a loser and embarrassment. Oh, life in Laguna is soooo complicated!!

10:54 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger JPH said...

Kelly Clarkson is the poor man's Kelly Clarkson. Alex is just worthless! I hate her. She can't be mad at Jess for hooking up with Jason because she was plotting to STEAL HIM! Alex was the dirty bitch first. I wish I had been in Cabo to kick her ass in the street.

And yeah, Jessica's hickey was Gnarly!

12:46 PM, September 23, 2005  

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