It's Jason's birthday and Lauren goes shopping with dingbat Heidi for a birthday gifts and the first few minutes consist of watching the girls be clueless about what golf clubs Lauren should buy for Jason. Riveting. Later in the offices of Teen Vogue, Whitney & Lauren are having what is actually a very intense, introspective conversation about life. Whitney tells Lauren, "jeans can be really addicting, there are always new ones and you feel like you have to have them." Oh girlfriend, I feel your pain. I have a whole new respect for dear Whitney at this point. Suddenly, scary lady Lisa Love comes and ruins all the fun talk, telling Lauren since Whitney cannot work on on Wednesday, Lauren is going to be an assistant at a fashion shoot the entire day. Normally, this would be a dream experience for someone who wants a career in the fashion industry, but suddenly a look of horror comes across Lauren's face. Oh no! Its jason's birthday on Wednesday and she promised to spend the day with him!!!
Ugh. Next, Audrina and Heidi are in the hottub and they are chatting about Adrina's upcoming date with a model who she describes as having a really good body. This Audrina is so deep and way too intelligent for my brain that I just cannot handle it. Therefore, I will not write further about the hottub conversation. We move on Lauren, who is lying around in her apartment suddenly Jason walks through the door. Damn, they just got back together last week and dude already has a key to her apartment. Lauren breaks the news to Jason that she has to work on his birthday and big baby Jason replies, "whatever" with a big baby pout. Excuse me Jason, but women are the only ones allowed to respond "whatever," to something they don't like, ok? Whatever, Jason ... you big baby.
Audrina (who I would really be surprised if anyone watching gave a crap about) goes on a date with some blonde model guy. Oh yes, he was quite cute but whatever, Audrina still bores me to tears. On the date, dude checks his voicemail and Adrina is not pleased. I don't care if you are cute dude, stay off the cellphone during a first date. Then a little bit later, Audrina's cell phone rings and now she answers her cellphone as revenge for him answering his cellphone. Ok, I admit, model boy actually urged her to answer her phone because as he said, "it's the right thing to do," but I like my revenge interpretation better, hee hee. Anyway, It's Heidi on the line who tells Audrina to say in code how the date is going by describing her food and so Audrina socks it to model guy by saying, "it's kinda greasy." Meh. After she gets off the phone, model guy tells Audrina that he has never had a long term relationship in his lifetime. The possibility for this could be because he checks his messages on a date or says shit like "this salad's like a party." Yes, I swear, model boy really did say that. Hmmm...Audrina could get entertaining after all.
Next, Lauren is at the fashion shoot where she has the job of organizing shoes by category and steaming the outfits. I must say that the cropped jeans and black heels Lauren had on were just spectacular. Me want. She does love her headbands though, doesn't she? Later in the day Lauren starts freaking because she has been there all day and she wants to get out of the photoshoot because it's already 6:30pm and it's Jason's birthday after all! When the woman from Teen Vogue asks her of she wants to go to the beach to "take in" the end of the photoshoot, Lauren says she will if she has to, but adds something like, "listen, it's my boyfriend's birthday, I HAVE to get the hell out of here." Ok, again, maybe Lauren wasn't that abrupt, but I prefer to remember it that way and throw some balls on the chick.
Lauren finally makes it out of work and heads off for Jason's birthday dinner. The two of them are in the car together and Jason suddenly asks Lauren if she is going to want to go straight home after dinner. At this point I'm thinking Jason is being sweet and if Lauren wants to go home after the dinner, he will of course go with her and they can spend the rest of the evening together. Um, fat chance. When Lauren tells Jason she isn't sure if she'll want to go straight home or not, he responds with, "If you want to go home, you can just take my car." HUH? Wha? Lauren did not looked pleased about this comment and the possibility that Jason would want to go out and party without her instead of home with her. Oh dear. There's your first warning sign that Jason may not have changed one damn bit. To make things worse, during the dinner Jason starts throwing silent 'tude at Lauren and gets up from the table and just walks away. When he returns he sits all the way at the opposite end of the table away from her. He's chatting it up and talking to everyone except Lauren and acting like a dick! Lauren then makes eye contact with him across the table and gives him the "you are in such deep shit" look and so after that, Jason runs over and tells her he is just trying to be friendly with everyone. But even after saying that and seeing that Lauren is starting to get pissed, he walks away and continues to ignore her for the rest of the night. Get a clue dude! Finally, the dinner is over and Lauren decides to go home. When she is outside waiting for the valet, Jason comes over to her and has the nerve to act stupid and ask her why she is mad. Lauren then tells Jason that she loves him and since it's his birthday, she is not going to get into anything with him. Then she adds that she rushed home for his birthday and to put himself in her situation. Sadly, Lauren is forgetting that underneath it all, Jason is still a meathead and that miracles cannot happen with idiot boys. The icing on the cake was that even after Lauren said that to him, that mother chucker Jason just walks away from her and jumps in another car driving off with his boys to go party. Asshole!
