Tabloid Whore!

6.29.2006

THE HILLS RECAP: "JASON'S BIRTHDAY."



It's Jason's birthday and Lauren goes shopping with dingbat Heidi for a birthday gifts and the first few minutes consist of watching the girls be clueless about what golf clubs Lauren should buy for Jason. Riveting. Later in the offices of Teen Vogue, Whitney & Lauren are having what is actually a very intense, introspective conversation about life. Whitney tells Lauren, "jeans can be really addicting, there are always new ones and you feel like you have to have them." Oh girlfriend, I feel your pain. I have a whole new respect for dear Whitney at this point. Suddenly, scary lady Lisa Love comes and ruins all the fun talk, telling Lauren since Whitney cannot work on on Wednesday, Lauren is going to be an assistant at a fashion shoot the entire day. Normally, this would be a dream experience for someone who wants a career in the fashion industry, but suddenly a look of horror comes across Lauren's face. Oh no! Its jason's birthday on Wednesday and she promised to spend the day with him!!!

Ugh. Next, Audrina and Heidi are in the hottub and they are chatting about Adrina's upcoming date with a model who she describes as having a really good body. This Audrina is so deep and way too intelligent for my brain that I just cannot handle it. Therefore, I will not write further about the hottub conversation. We move on Lauren, who is lying around in her apartment suddenly Jason walks through the door. Damn, they just got back together last week and dude already has a key to her apartment. Lauren breaks the news to Jason that she has to work on his birthday and big baby Jason replies, "whatever" with a big baby pout. Excuse me Jason, but women are the only ones allowed to respond "whatever," to something they don't like, ok? Whatever, Jason ... you big baby.

Audrina (who I would really be surprised if anyone watching gave a crap about) goes on a date with some blonde model guy. Oh yes, he was quite cute but whatever, Audrina still bores me to tears. On the date, dude checks his voicemail and Adrina is not pleased. I don't care if you are cute dude, stay off the cellphone during a first date. Then a little bit later, Audrina's cell phone rings and now she answers her cellphone as revenge for him answering his cellphone. Ok, I admit, model boy actually urged her to answer her phone because as he said, "it's the right thing to do," but I like my revenge interpretation better, hee hee. Anyway, It's Heidi on the line who tells Audrina to say in code how the date is going by describing her food and so Audrina socks it to model guy by saying, "it's kinda greasy." Meh. After she gets off the phone, model guy tells Audrina that he has never had a long term relationship in his lifetime. The possibility for this could be because he checks his messages on a date or says shit like "this salad's like a party." Yes, I swear, model boy really did say that. Hmmm...Audrina could get entertaining after all.

Next, Lauren is at the fashion shoot where she has the job of organizing shoes by category and steaming the outfits. I must say that the cropped jeans and black heels Lauren had on were just spectacular. Me want. She does love her headbands though, doesn't she? Later in the day Lauren starts freaking because she has been there all day and she wants to get out of the photoshoot because it's already 6:30pm and it's Jason's birthday after all! When the woman from Teen Vogue asks her of she wants to go to the beach to "take in" the end of the photoshoot, Lauren says she will if she has to, but adds something like, "listen, it's my boyfriend's birthday, I HAVE to get the hell out of here." Ok, again, maybe Lauren wasn't that abrupt, but I prefer to remember it that way and throw some balls on the chick.

Lauren finally makes it out of work and heads off for Jason's birthday dinner. The two of them are in the car together and Jason suddenly asks Lauren if she is going to want to go straight home after dinner. At this point I'm thinking Jason is being sweet and if Lauren wants to go home after the dinner, he will of course go with her and they can spend the rest of the evening together. Um, fat chance. When Lauren tells Jason she isn't sure if she'll want to go straight home or not, he responds with, "If you want to go home, you can just take my car." HUH? Wha? Lauren did not looked pleased about this comment and the possibility that Jason would want to go out and party without her instead of home with her. Oh dear. There's your first warning sign that Jason may not have changed one damn bit. To make things worse, during the dinner Jason starts throwing silent 'tude at Lauren and gets up from the table and just walks away. When he returns he sits all the way at the opposite end of the table away from her. He's chatting it up and talking to everyone except Lauren and acting like a dick! Lauren then makes eye contact with him across the table and gives him the "you are in such deep shit" look and so after that, Jason runs over and tells her he is just trying to be friendly with everyone. But even after saying that and seeing that Lauren is starting to get pissed, he walks away and continues to ignore her for the rest of the night. Get a clue dude! Finally, the dinner is over and Lauren decides to go home. When she is outside waiting for the valet, Jason comes over to her and has the nerve to act stupid and ask her why she is mad. Lauren then tells Jason that she loves him and since it's his birthday, she is not going to get into anything with him. Then she adds that she rushed home for his birthday and to put himself in her situation. Sadly, Lauren is forgetting that underneath it all, Jason is still a meathead and that miracles cannot happen with idiot boys. The icing on the cake was that even after Lauren said that to him, that mother chucker Jason just walks away from her and jumps in another car driving off with his boys to go party. Asshole!

24 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Someone please tell me more about Jason, I am so curious as to who this guy is. From Laguna Beach season 2, we see he comes from money, who is his family and how does he afford to take the day off for his birthday to go play golf.

11:10 AM, June 29, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did you catch that this, not only did Jason sit at the other end of the table and ignore Lauren but he was sitting with some cute girls, chatting about how they could move in at his new place, (laughing) that would be trouble.
Looks like Jason just isn't ready to give up the party life for a steady girl, unless it's a steady girl who will go home by herself.

11:10 AM, June 29, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Poor LC....could she be more gullible? That girl needs to wake up and see that Jason is not any more ready for a serious relationship now than he was on Laguna. He is sooo immature and self centered. I hope she dumps his ass. BTW, is it me, or does it seem like when Jason talks he always sounds wasted? What the hell does he do all day anyway? No career, no ambition....It's hard for me to believe that Lauren is interested in him for the long term anyway.

The scene with Audrina and the greasy model guy was funny...you have to admit it! TG Heidi wasn't around too much this week. I can only stomach her for so long...

11:45 AM, June 29, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And how bout him going to the bathroom with that man...wonder what they were doing in there?

12:00 PM, June 29, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

drug deal ha! you know it! he had to get his birthday party on!

12:25 PM, June 29, 2006  
Blogger Poppy Cede said...

I never watched The OC so I didn't realize what a dickwad Jason is. Wow. Can't stand him. And yet I keep seeing Lauren with him at red carpet events where they kiss passionately and are clearly still together. What gives? Does she have low self esteem, or is this just for the show?

2:18 PM, June 29, 2006  
Blogger Poppy Cede said...

See? That's how much I know, I meant Laguna Beach -- not The OC, didn't I ...

2:39 PM, June 29, 2006  
Anonymous peach said...

jason is your basic boytool who doesn't have his own style, real career, manners or morals. he will continue to manipulate and disrespect women because he has no character. he's a kfed, just dressed a little better.

7:31 AM, June 30, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

obv they are still together currently so he cant be that bad this was taped awhile ago.

9:03 AM, June 30, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

He was on drugs on season 2 and he was on drugs the night of his birthday. Why else would he have gotten up and gone to the bathroom like that. You can tell by the way he acts. Last week when he was trying to get back with her, he was all talk and more like a human. This week he doesn't have much to say. See it before

9:21 AM, June 30, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, if you ntoiced, Jason got in the car at the end - in the backseat and an attractive girl was in the front.

11:24 AM, June 30, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

he's quite a drinker i believe and was in rehab during LB season 1. i'm pretty sure coke is his choice, even over LC, it would seem. yeah, don't know anything about his family,etc except that his grandparents are the loaded ones, his parents get the dough from them. and he's 'taking acting classes' right now, that's it, that's all he's doing. well and schmoozing w/ anyone that'll give him publicity. i think he needs a good bitchslap.twice

12:57 PM, June 30, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

anon 12:00

I agree...he obviously got up a couple times to snort a few lines...nice! He is high as a kite all the time. I hope Lauren wakes up sometime soon. She has too much to lose.

2:44 PM, June 30, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OK, call me crazy, but aren't these kids seen drinking at the restaurant? Correct me if I'm wrong, but they just graduated from high school, so they would all be about 19.

Am I missing something or does money make the need to be 21 go away?

7:58 PM, June 30, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

7:58 I was thinking the exact same thing. These kids are so spoiled. Im surprised (and happy) that LC still has a good head on her shoulders despite her fame and money. Now if only she would open her eyes to the fact that Jason does not deserve her at all.

7:34 AM, July 01, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good one...i was wondering how the got around the whole "drinking age is 21 not 12 law too" Jason cheated on everyone on Laguna Beach. Poor stupid Jessica then another chick and then Lauren. He's a dick and she knows it. It'll be heartbreak ciy.

1:21 PM, July 02, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Poor LC. You gotta wonder about any girl that would date a guy with a corny looking manicured beard and diamond stud earrings. He's basically the poor man's K Fed. I bed he drinks Cristal and sleeps with a do-rag on his head too.

10:11 PM, July 02, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lauren deserves WAY better, not only is he a cheating asshole, but he is incredibly UGLY! She deserves someone with class, especially since shes working for Teen Vogue!! Thats what happens when you give a player another chance, but giving it a second chance is what she needed to do. If I was in that situation I would probably do that to. Just because everyone deserves a second chance. He obviously blew it and she'd have to be stupid to keep him after all of this happened AGAIN!

9:32 AM, July 05, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can't really get with all this talk about LC being such a good girl with all these things going for her. This whole Teen Vogue internship is a fraud! It's an obvious ploy on the magz part to get publicity. As a journalist, who has interned at a major mag (owned by the same co. that owns Teen Vogue), I can assure you that the experience of a REAL intern is much different than the one shown on the show! The fact that LC is interning at Teen Vogue says nothing about her intelligence, ability or drive - unfortunately.

1:51 PM, July 05, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for your great recaps! I don't get cable so I really appreciate your notes and thoughts. :D

5:46 PM, July 05, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

First off... Jason is the biggest d*ck in the history of Laguna Beach/The Hills. He is a total tool, and I still don't see what the girls see in him... especially not Lauren, who is one of the few who are actually trying to make something of themselves. (Unlike her space cadet friend Heidi)

Secondly, is it just me, or does Jason look a lot like Ben Rothlesberger (or however you spell it) from the Steelers. Ironically enough, they both total idiots who do nothing but make fools of themselves.

Of all the guys from LB to bring into the show, Lauren had to pick this goon. Where is Steven, or Deiter?

1:51 PM, July 06, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'll be you LC gets married to this dickwad...

7:17 PM, July 12, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ok i honstly dont think lc is soo damn innocent and also soo damn naive.. yeah jason doesnt seem to be perfect but hes not all bad ok yeah so hes quite stonned all the time but thats his prob.. i honestly think this whole things a bloody sham mtvs prob got lc the vogue gig and made sure jason came back for a twist because everyone knew that stephen and lc wouldnt work cuz e was too much of a dick to her and actually never reallyy liked her apart from a friend and some one who he could hook up with

11:50 PM, July 20, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

how the hell does that guy have so much and do so little, the big shocker to me is the 75k range rover sport, i mean not only does your rich but they have to have loads of money to have a car like that for a kid, that doesnt do anything, its really scary

8:53 AM, August 02, 2006  

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