Tabloid Whore!



Click HERE to read the recap for The Hills SEASON 2 premiere!!

FYI: This recap is hella long and they are going to be happening every week, so if you don't like it or don't watch the show, just skip over it sweets.

Last night was the premiere episode of Season 1 for MTV's new reality show, "The Hills." It's the spin-off from MTV's ever successful and addictive "Laguna Beach" and stars everyone's favorite good girl, Lauren "LC" Conrad. I gotta say, I was pretty excited for this show to start, especially because most shows have already had their season finales and there aint nothing on television right now. When the show starts, we are introduced to Lauren's roommate Heidi who some of you might remember from the Laguna Beach "Jason kisses Jessica" fashion show episode. These two hot bitches are now living together at the Hillside Villas apartment complex in West Hollywood. Translation: about $2500 a month for that pad. I loved how Lauren arrived at the apartment and was like, "oh! this is nice! I like the red fire place!" Ok, who gets an apartment without looking at it first? Laguna isn't that far away to go apartment hunting sweetheart. Anyway, it's a nice place. Before Lauren can even get settled in and go to the bathroom, she gets a call from Teen Vogue telling her she needs to come in for her internship interview in 20 minutes as opposed to a few hours as scheduled. Of course that bitch always looks good, so she basically pulls it all together and runs on over to the offices of Teen Vogue in her allotted 20 mins. That's when she encounters the scary lady, Teen Vogue's West Coast editor Lisa Love *shudder.* I'm sure this woman is just lovely, but she is the epitome of the boss that for some reason, scares the heck out of you just by looking at her. To no one's surprise, Lauren ends up getting the internship at Teen Vogue even though we are treated to the totally fake phone call from magazine editor Blaine in a poor attempt to try and make us think she might actually not get it. Yeah, whatevs.

On the first day of her internship, Lauren meets Whitney, who is one of the other chicks being featured on the show. After Lauren gives her the "who the F are you?" up and down look, the girls become fast friends. Oh weeee! Their first intern assignment is to lick envelopes and place proper stamps on the invitations for Teen Vogue's "Young Hollywood" party. During this daunting task, Lauren has a brilliant recollection and says, "Do you remember that episode of Seinfeld where the bald guy's fiance died from licking envelopes??" Oh dear, am I really watching this? Next thing we know, scary boss lady comes into the room and the girls hush up their conversation instantly. She then says, "Hi Lauren!" and completely ignores the other intern Whitney like she did in an earlier scene. That poor Whitney, she just sat there with a big smile on her face, probably secretly cursing the chick from Laguna Beach with the camera crew stealing all her thunder. The girls are then told they will be working the Teen Vogue "Young Hollywood" party and that they basically better not f*&k up, or scary boss lady will be after them. Whitney got the job of checking people in at the door (not bad) and Lauren got the illustrious job of guarding VIP couches. No one, and I mean no one, was allowed to sit on the couches until further notice from Blaine (who I am still reserving judgment on) or scary lady. The funniest part about this whole thing is that if Lauren didn't have her internship at Teen Vogue, you know with her being on Laguna Beach she would have totally been on the guest list for this damn thing. I wonder if the person she had to hold the couches for was Kristin Cavalleri (could you imagine?!)

Well, of course, Lauren basically f's up her first assignment of guarding the couches when she sneaks her roommate Heidi and crew into the party and yes, lets them sit on the magic couches (No L.C.! No!). Speaking of Heidi, I have to admit that at this moment she is my favorite person on the show. She is such a total dingbat, but mind you, the kind of dingbat that you completely love. God, is she stupid. They showed a scene of her being interviewed by the registrar at the fashion school they attend, FIDM, and she actually said, 1) That she never did any work in highschool and just shopped and went out. 2) She could never, ever, ever, work the floor in retail (honey, when you're 19 and basically just said you never went to highschool, don't be picky) AND 3) She wants to have a career in PR so she can be the "fun, party, PR girl and be around the party scene." Not to mention, she looked absolutely stunned when she was told you have to write press releases and do a bunch of other stuff to work in P.R. Ok, someone
watched a few too many episodes of Lizzie Grubman's show Power Girls if you ask me. Anyway, so far she is the most entertaining thing about "The Hills," so I can't wait to see more of Heidi's delightful mess. She already managed to make a scene by fighting with her boyfriend on the couches which then got Blaine and scary lady all up in Lauren's ass about f'ing up on her very first assignment. The first episode concludes with Lauren being told by scary lady she is going to catch hell on Monday for letting the little people sit on the white couches. Huh. And you thought drama only happened in Laguna Beach.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

okay tw, i've been dieing to see what you thought of the show....i think it is definitly going to be juicy but i can't help but wonder if some of it is really scripted...i was mortified when that dumb ass heidi showed up at the party...i can't believe lauren didn't have a total cow when they actually sat down on those couches...if i was her, i would have been freaking out-get the hell off my couches bitches!!! i don't know so much if she would risk her whole intership on those guys or if it went that way just to add drama....either way, i'm totally hooked and watching heidi the ditzy bitch every week will make me laugh....

11:21 AM, June 01, 2006  
Anonymous vafashionista said...

Ha! I love you for this! i can't wait to read it next week and the next and so forth! I'm hoeplessly addicted to pointless reality TV on MTV! It always just sucks you in! But yeah, couldn't believe LC was so dumb to let them sit on the magical couches hahaaha and yes I did notice how scary boss lady lights up and says "Hiiiii! Lauren" haha we will see how long that lasts, we all know she didn't deserve or even work for that internship at Teen Vogue!

till next week!

12:29 PM, June 01, 2006  
Blogger Heather said...

Yea I'm hooked too. I love L.C. I am glad you are going to cover this show, in case I miss it. I do think some of it is scripted though. She wouldn't have let them sit on those couches. That was for us to be like noooooooo! Lauren why! Anyway, it is still great. I'm looking forward to more of your witty recaps.

1:32 PM, June 01, 2006  
Anonymous kristi said...

Scripted, real, who cares? It's good TV.

I can't wait to see Jason.

2:27 PM, June 01, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A. not enough hot guys

B. Lauren blew it big time. This was a big old test and she *failed*.... The only reason she has this job is because Vogue can get exposure through Mtv. I wouldn't be surprised if they fire her butt.

C. Here's a little "role-playing."

DINGBAT: "Hi, LC, Can you get us in the party?"

LC: "No. I can't."

DINGBAT+FRIENDS: (sit on couches)

LC: "Get up, get moving, don't sit here or you'll have to leave."

DINGBAT+FRIENDS: (fighting amongst themselves cause they are have the maturity level of 3-year-olds)

LC: "Time to move on out of here guys...."

Instead she sits *down* like she isn't working, gabbing with friends, ignoring her job, whatta maroon....

And I say this being a fan of her's from the previous show. She *really* showed she isn't ready for real work. She should go back to being a teenager with no responsibilities....

2:48 PM, June 01, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Do you think Kristen watched?

7:17 AM, June 02, 2006  
Blogger Heather said...

RE: "Do you think Kristin watched?"

Yes, because she is so obviously jealous of Lauren. Lauren is 10x more beautiful than her, and has a goal in life other than being a slut!

And whoever said they couldn't wait to see Jason, ditto. He is super super hot!

10:52 AM, June 02, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

jason is a coke head womanizer...he sooo played all those girls and they loved it...he'll be stirring up some shit!

4:21 PM, June 02, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

nicee recap, i totally missed it! btw kristin is hot. jason is gross.

9:53 PM, June 02, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Does anyone know the title and artist of the song that they play while their showing the preview for the whole season?

Some of the words are like..

I gotta believe, i gotta believe, i gotta believe in me

10:06 AM, June 06, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love the hills its my absolute favorite show, its all about LC instead of that bitch kristen, im way excited to see jason, but wheres steven

7:57 PM, June 08, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey people um..I have a question...does anyone know the name of that song playing on like a little sneak peak of the show "the Hills" where the lyrics were somethen like "na na na na na, na na na na na, gotta believe, gotta believe in me" I need those really tryin to get over someone and those are good encouragement lyrics...l0l...but if anyone has any info on that, please email me at
That would be SoOoOoOo GrEaT! Thanks everyone..bye.

7:58 PM, June 08, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Doesn't this show seem a little slower than Laguna Beach? I feel the show is dependent on Lauren's fabulous intern job at Teen Vogue and the fabulous school FIDM. They barely talk and its really slow, there was a part during the second episode where Lauren is erasing for like 5 seconds. The only person who talks is Heidi, when she's calling that brunette girl or when she's drunk. I don't even like Heidi.

10:47 PM, June 08, 2006  
Anonymous maggie said...

I read on another site that it was called "Gotta Believe" by Bexy. But it seems to be impossible to find.. anywhere. I hope since I could help out some here that if anyone reading this finds the song they'd write how they got it. thanks and hope this helps! =D

1:41 AM, June 09, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am so exited to see Jason also, he is so hot

2:16 PM, June 09, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

that's bexy's myspace and she IS the writer of "i gotta believe." i was really excited to find this.

9:03 AM, June 15, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Does anyone know the song that plays in the most recent episode? The only words I caught were "California, California..."?

1:15 PM, June 20, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

california by rufus wainwright

7:48 PM, June 22, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Okay, so I checked out this weird show called 11 Cameras by accident on the CBC and it was pretty good actually. Most of the people on the show are younger than 40 which is more than I can say for the people that watch CBC and Don Cherry's yapping mouth. It's obviously acting but the way its filmed it kind of feels real if that makes any sense. They air it after Coronation St. which is a total grandma show but whatever. I thought it was pretty good and better than most of the reality krap I been watching. I can only take so much Laguna Beach and it's on ten X a day.

9:12 AM, July 06, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Heidi, is a QT. But she needs to firm up that droopy butt of hers eh. And stop being such aloof L.A. bitch.

7:18 PM, March 11, 2007  

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