MTV's "THE HILLS" PREMIERE RECAP.

Click HERE to read the recap for The Hills SEASON 2 premiere!!

FYI: This recap is hella long and they are going to be happening every week, so if you don't like it or don't watch the show, just skip over it sweets.

Last night was the premiere episode of Season 1 for MTV's new reality show, "The Hills." It's the spin-off from MTV's ever successful and addictive "Laguna Beach" and stars everyone's favorite good girl, Lauren "LC" Conrad. I gotta say, I was pretty excited for this show to start, especially because most shows have already had their season finales and there aint nothing on television right now. When the show starts, we are introduced to Lauren's roommate Heidi who some of you might remember from the Laguna Beach "Jason kisses Jessica" fashion show episode. These two hot bitches are now living together at the Hillside Villas apartment complex in West Hollywood. Translation: about $2500 a month for that pad. I loved how Lauren arrived at the apartment and was like, "oh! this is nice! I like the red fire place!" Ok, who gets an apartment without looking at it first? Laguna isn't that far away to go apartment hunting sweetheart. Anyway, it's a nice place. Before Lauren can even get settled in and go to the bathroom, she gets a call from Teen Vogue telling her she needs to come in for her internship interview in 20 minutes as opposed to a few hours as scheduled. Of course that bitch always looks good, so she basically pulls it all together and runs on over to the offices of Teen Vogue in her allotted 20 mins. That's when she encounters the scary lady, Teen Vogue's West Coast editor Lisa Love *shudder.* I'm sure this woman is just lovely, but she is the epitome of the boss that for some reason, scares the heck out of you just by looking at her. To no one's surprise, Lauren ends up getting the internship at Teen Vogue even though we are treated to the totally fake phone call from magazine editor Blaine in a poor attempt to try and make us think she might actually not get it. Yeah, whatevs.

On the first day of her internship, Lauren meets Whitney, who is one of the other chicks being featured on the show. After Lauren gives her the "who the F are you?" up and down look, the girls become fast friends. Oh weeee! Their first intern assignment is to lick envelopes and place proper stamps on the invitations for Teen Vogue's "Young Hollywood" party. During this daunting task, Lauren has a brilliant recollection and says, "Do you remember that episode of Seinfeld where the bald guy's fiance died from licking envelopes??" Oh dear, am I really watching this? Next thing we know, scary boss lady comes into the room and the girls hush up their conversation instantly. She then says, "Hi Lauren!" and completely ignores the other intern Whitney like she did in an earlier scene. That poor Whitney, she just sat there with a big smile on her face, probably secretly cursing the chick from Laguna Beach with the camera crew stealing all her thunder. The girls are then told they will be working the Teen Vogue "Young Hollywood" party and that they basically better not f*&k up, or scary boss lady will be after them. Whitney got the job of checking people in at the door (not bad) and Lauren got the illustrious job of guarding VIP couches. No one, and I mean no one, was allowed to sit on the couches until further notice from Blaine (who I am still reserving judgment on) or scary lady. The funniest part about this whole thing is that if Lauren didn't have her internship at Teen Vogue, you know with her being on Laguna Beach she would have totally been on the guest list for this damn thing. I wonder if the person she had to hold the couches for was Kristin Cavalleri (could you imagine?!)

Well, of course, Lauren basically f's up her first assignment of guarding the couches when she sneaks her roommate Heidi and crew into the party and yes, lets them sit on the magic couches (No L.C.! No!). Speaking of Heidi, I have to admit that at this moment she is my favorite person on the show. She is such a total dingbat, but mind you, the kind of dingbat that you completely love. God, is she stupid. They showed a scene of her being interviewed by the registrar at the fashion school they attend, FIDM, and she actually said, 1) That she never did any work in highschool and just shopped and went out. 2) She could never, ever, ever, work the floor in retail (honey, when you're 19 and basically just said you never went to highschool, don't be picky) AND 3) She wants to have a career in PR so she can be the "fun, party, PR girl and be around the party scene." Not to mention, she looked absolutely stunned when she was told you have to write press releases and do a bunch of other stuff to work in P.R. Ok, someone watched a few too many episodes of Lizzie Grubman's show Power Girls if you ask me. Anyway, so far she is the most entertaining thing about "The Hills," so I can't wait to see more of Heidi's delightful mess. She already managed to make a scene by fighting with her boyfriend on the couches which then got Blaine and scary lady all up in Lauren's ass about f'ing up on her very first assignment. The first episode concludes with Lauren being told by scary lady she is going to catch hell on Monday for letting the little people sit on the white couches. Huh. And you thought drama only happened in Laguna Beach.