THE NATIONAL ENQUIRER REPORTS: LINDSAY LOHAN OVERDOSED ON COCAINE AND PILLS!

Oh what a shocker! Excuse me while I put on my sarcasm hat. The National Enquirer has a world exclusive story that Lindsay Lohan allegedly OD'd on a cocktail of coke (and I'm not talking about the kind that makes the whole world smile) and pain killers, Nov. 12th. A friend of Lindsays reportedly found her all coked out and unconscious in her room at the Chateau Marmont (I thought they finally got rid of her ass there, no?) and called a doctor to come to Lindsay's rescue. The Enquirer reports that the doctor was able to revive her, but not before finding a big pile 'o prescription drugs and stashes of that nasty cocaine, so says an "insider." They add that the doctor also "flushed the coke down the toilet and bagged up 7 different prescription drugs" and insisted Lindsay check into the hospital and then rehab. Even with the doctor's insistence, she reportedly refused to do both.

I know Thanksgiving is coming up and we are supposed to be kind at this time of the year and all, but what a stupid, dumb bitch! Just watch, the next time something like this happens, the doctor wont be able to revive her and her death will cause her to become a freakin' unworthy legend in Hollywood or some shit like that. Hey, now that I think about it, it's probably the best way for her to have a shot at that Oscar she plans on winning before she turns 30!

Source: The National Enquirer