Tabloid Whore!



Here we go with the first wrap up for House of Carters. Damn, I didn't realize it was up against The Bachelor Rome when I decided to do recaps oh well... The episode starts off with Nick Carter grumping around and cleaning up after his messy ass brother and sisters. Things are going fine, he's washing dishes and playing daddy more or less. That is, until he steps in warm dog shit & piss on the kitchen floor, then all hell breaks loose. The show hasn't even been on for 30 seconds and Nick has one of his infamous blow ups. Egh, I don't really blame him. Have you ever stepped in puppy piss? It isn't fun.

Next we see B.J. (or Beej as Nick and I like to call her) at lunch with her boyfriend. She's whining about the fights the family is having over chores and this is the moment we see what a catch Beej has landed herself. The guy, who seems like a really nice fellow, but can be described as none other than Britney Spears "country," comes up with the brilliant idea that the family needs to have a chore board so they can get along better. Wow. A chore board? Where has this man been all my life? Back at the house, Nick tells Aaron he is going to be out very late at his Backstreet Boys management meeting and that Aaron is the man of the house while he's away. Big Mistake. Craziness ensues at the Carter house while grumpy, stick up his ass Nick is actually out earning a living. Tequila and limes are lined up on the kitchen counter and everyone starts boozing. Aaron is in the shower with some girl who is squeezing liquid soap down his drawers while giggling about it in his 18 year old pre-pubescent voice. Then when he gets out of the shower, apparently so excited that the girl squirted his penis with liquid soap, Aaron like the dumbass he is, jumps off the roof into the pool AGAIN. Didn't Nick tell him to cut that shit out in the first episode? I can't wait till he cracks his damn head on the pool cement from not listening to brother Nick. So now, everyone is pretty much drunk-assed and passed out on the lounge furniture outside by the pool. Nick would not be pleased. Then, we overhear BJ confide to one of the girls there that she is no longer in love with her boyfriend. What? No longer in love with Country? Oh Beej! The horror!

Dun! Dun! Dun! Nick comes home from his meeting and finds all his brother and sisters stinking drunk by the pool. Nick starts yelling over the balcony how proud he is of everyone and Aaron calls him the Grinch and says that he should come in the house smiley like Ronald McDonald. Oh Aaron, you should know by now not to mess with Nick. Nick tells Aaron to get his ass in the house and then another Nick/Aaron fight starts. Nick yells at Aaron for being 18 and boozing and tells him he needs his permission to drink in his house. It's like a replay of last week where Nick is yelling and spitting in his face and Aaron is attempting to fight back. Aaron doesn't do the best job and responds to Nick with some form of barking. Yeah, that moment was just annoying and weird. Then Nick tells Aaron that he is upset with him because he doesn't want his little brother to end up like the other drunk ass losers in his the family. Aaron seems to like this answer because he realizes that Nick is saying it's his sisters that are big drunk lushes and not him, and so the boys hug each other and make up. Awww! Next, while Aaron is still drunk, Nick brings him to Pavillions to pick up food. Aaron and his drunk ass ends up in Pavillions pushing a shopping cart around until he cannot take it anymore. Aaron gets down on the ground and starts whining about how he doesn't feel well. Uh oh, you know what's coming. Nick piggy backs Aaron out of the store and puts him in his shiny lovely car. After a couple minutes driving, Aaron proceeds to puke out the door of Nick's car. Huh. And Nick thought stepping in puppy shit was bad. After puking, Aaron sees the light and tells Nick he should listen to him more and that he "is never drinking again." Oh to be under 21.

After Aaron's puke session, he and Nick decide to do laundry and the big brother teaches him how to wash his first load. Aaron's most difficult decision seemed to be deciding if a grey and white striped shirt goes in with dark or lights. first I laughed at him, but where would you put that shirt? After the laundry lesson we get back to Beej who stumbles out of the pool, seemingly drunk, and is talking to someone again about how she is not in love with her boyfriend anymore. Just when you thought this guy was humiliated on television enough, she adds that she is also no longer attracted to him. I bet Country loved watching that on television. So at this point, Beej wants to totally sabotage the relationship with the nice boy and starts to yell at Country when he tries to help her clean the kitchen. She screams that he is "up her butt" too much (interpret that as you will) and she wants him to leave the house. I bet at the rate chores are going, Nick would trade Beej for Country in a second. Anyway, the two lovebirds end up having a big blow up with Beej yelling some shit like, "Leave! I don't like you! " and Country yelling back some shit about how no one can "touch" him. Beej is left alone on the balcony to cry and when she tries to pick up her cute little white dog, it runs away from her. Haha, the cute dog always runs away from BJ, I wonder why. The next day, just when BJ finally gets rid of Country, Nick calls him and tells him to come over and talk to her. BJ is suddenly all sad over this boy who only the night before she publicly humiliated after saying behind his back that she wasn't attracted to or in love with anymore. BJ tells Country she lives in the "house of insanity" but thankfully realizes that she is the most insane out of all of the Carter kids. Beej then gives her boyfriend a whole sob story about not wanting to drag him into this mess of a family. Oh lies! Lies! I bet she just wants to get rid of Country so she can party with Wilmer Valderrama now that she has reality cameras following her everywhere. The show closes with Nick and Aaron having a heart to heart and each of them saying shit like, "I'm sorry, I am wrong a lot of times," and then the other one saying, "no, I am wrong." *eyeroll* I think Aaron is trying to be nice so Nick wont yell & spit in his face anymore, but some of you may have seen this as a tender bonding moment between brothers. Let's see how long that will last.

Check out this YouTube of E!'s Carters on The Couch, that contains the best clips from the episode and two people who analyze key points in the episode. Put it this way, these suckers are wayyyy too nice to the Carters. I guess you could say it's a complete opposite opinion from this recap. Enjoy!
Oh and if you missed the episode, it repeats Wednesday night.


Anonymous sara said...

What channel is it on in canada i cant find it?

2:03 PM, October 10, 2006  
Blogger Tabloid Whore! said...

It's on the cable channel E! Entertainment. Not sure if it runs in Canada though. :( I think some people post full episodes in parts on, so you should check it out. Search for House of Carters. Good Luck!

2:08 PM, October 10, 2006  
Blogger get in mah belly said...

excuse me everyone, but where are their parents? did they die? why is nick in charge if they have parents? where the fuck are their parents? i remember they had parents on mtv cribs when they lived in florida?!?!?wtf

4:15 AM, October 11, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

the whole point is to get them away from their parents cause their parents are the reason they are messed up. And it isn't on in Canada.

4:10 PM, October 11, 2006  

Post a Comment

<< Home