MTV's "THE HILLS" SEASON FINALE RECAP: "TIMING IS EVERYTHING."

Image via Lauren-conrad.net

Update: I've noticed that a lot of you have said in the comments section your dvr's cut off before the end of the episode, you can watch the last five minutes here -more-or-less.

Here we go! The season finale of The Hills.....

Lauren and Jason are at a beach house in Malibu looking out at the water and the dolphins from the balcony. Jason then tells Lauren again how he really wants to rent the place with her for the summer and get away from all the people they've been hanging out with. Lauren likes that idea and gets a little smirk on her face. Oh Jason is soooo dreamy!

It's L.A. Fashion week and scary lady Lisa Love is having a meeting with Whitney and Lauren, barking out all these orders to the girls. There is some big fashion show that they have to work where some big cheese Editor-in-Chief from Teen Vogue will be making an appearance. The girls are now in the middle of stress central. That night, Lauren takes off to meet scary lady and the Editor-in-Chief from Teen Vogue and the funny thing is, when she meets her, the Vogue big wig was nicer to Lauren than scary lady has ever been all season. Lauren's big job for the night is to get 2 extra tickets for a sold out fashion show for 2 more Vogue editors. Poor Lauren is practically in tears because whoever the bitch was at the fashion show that handled the tickets, wouldn't give her any without knowing who they were for. This woman was so evil and mean and just stood there rolling her eyes at Lauren and telling her, "you have to move quicker than this if you want to work in the fashion business." I am so glad they caught her mean ass on camera. Thankfully, Lauren gets the names and bitch gives her the tickets for scary lady. Phew! All is good again in Lauren's world.

The next day in the Teen Vogue offices, scary lady calls Lauren alone into her office. Lauren is shitting in her pants at this point because she remembers the last time she was called in alone, scary lady reamed her for letting her friends sit on the white couches. Surprisingly, scary lady tells her she did a great job during her internship and says that Whitney will be interning for Teen Vogue in New York this summer and they are now trying to find a place to put Lauren. Then, she drops a bomb on Lauren and tells her that actually, she has been nominated to do an internship with Vogue for the summer in Paris. Normally this would be an exciting prospect for a young girl that wants to make it in the fashion industry, but at this point, a look of absolute dread comes across Lauren's face. I even think she turned yellow. Oh no! What about Jason and the beach house?!

Lauren tells Whitney about the Paris internship and Whitney is freaking out like, "Oh my God! That is my dream! How the hell did you get the offer and not me bitch?! Damn you and your MTV camera crew following you! I walked the runway! You let your friends sit on the white couches!" Ahh, I love Whitney. So Lauren starts saying she doesn't know what to do because she has already planned her summer with Jason to have the perfect Barbie and Ken Malibu beach house and if she goes, she might not end up with the Barbie pink Corvette. Okay, maybe she didn't say the thing about the Barbie Corvette, but I prefer to remember it that way. At this point you know Whitney is praying Lauren turns it down and is like, "Whatever, dumbass! Go and be in your Malibu beach house with your coked up boyfriend! I'll take the damn internship in Paris!" That's right Whitney.

Later at the apartment, Lauren tells Heidi about the internship and even dingbat Heidi is like, "oh my god, that's HUGE! What are you going to do?!" Again, Lauren brings up "the Jason factor." Good God woman! Ya see, Lauren is afraid that if she goes to Paris for the whole summer, her relationship with the asshole will get totally screwed up. Oh, we would never want that to happen, would we? Lauren falling in love with a nice Parisian boy over dumbass Jason? Never! So later on, Lauren goes to the amazing beach house where Jason is and I assume, already rented. Don't even get me started on trying to figure out how those bastards can afford that place. Last time I checked, an internship pays nothing and no one can figure out what Jason does for work. Oh wait. That's right, MTV pays him a shitload of money for these reality shows and he must also make bank showing up at clubs for "appearances." Anyway, Lauren breaks the news to Jason about the internship and Jason is like, "duhhh uhhh, are you going??" Again, Lauren shrugs her shoulders and in a shocking move, Jason tells her he will support Lauren in whatever she does and he will always be there for her because she has always been there for him. After that, she calls him over to the couch and hugs him. Damn, he knows how to work the girl. Okay, I will admit that I became a bit sad for them at this point, but I think it was just due to the Coldplay music in the background that got me all emotional. Thankfully, the commercial break right after was enough time to turn me back into a cold bitch.

Ugh, so we come back to the final jacuzzi scene with Heidi and Audrina. Heidi is sitting there, just ripping Jordan a new A-Hole. The tears from last week are gone and now she's yapping about how she can't believe she was ever with him and now that she is single, she can't wait to go out every night and slut it up. Goooo Heidi! Later in the apartment, Lauren is all packed up to go somewhere and when she is about to leave the apartment, Heidi makes Lauren say goodbye to everything, the dog Bella, the apartment, her bed and the spatula in the kitchen. Lauren, happy to be free of that dingbat for the summer, takes off in her convertible BMW with suitcase in the back. Hmmm... this is sooo reminiscent of Laguna Beach season 2. Where will she go? What will she do?? Paris or Jason? Paris or Jason? Well, next thing you know, we see scary lady waiting at LAX for someone who we assume is Lauren. Scary lady is standing there at the curb waiting and checking her cellphone frantically like, "Bitch! Your ass better get to this airport now! I don't do curbside!" Then the scene flips to Lauren still driving and then to some shots of Jason looking at the ocean and standing on the Malibu beach house balcony. Where will she go? What will she do??? Next, the wind was taken out of many The Hills viewers sails when suddenly Lauren's car pulls into the beach house driveway. Oh no. Lauren comes out on the balcony where she greets Jason and kisses him. Ugh. She stayed with him. Scary lady is still waiting at the curb cursing and pissed off when we see a pair of legs dragging a suitcase and walking towards her. Slowly, the camera pans up and we see that it's the fabulous Whitney, and we assume on her way to Paris for the internship. Who cares if she got sloppy seconds, Whitney deserved that internship a hellavalot more!

The season finale ends with Jason and Lauren out on the balcony and he says to her (tooootally scripted) "Oh Lauren, you came just in time for the sunset. We're going to have a good summer. I love you." And again, all is good in the world of Lauren Conrad.

Do you think Lauren made the right decision?