Tabloid Whore!

8.02.2006

"MEL GIBSON WENT CRAZY IN THE JUNGLE."

The National Enquirer is coming out with a story that claims on the night of his arrest, Mel Gibson had a water bottle filled up with Vodka and was very busy taking some "happy sips" out of the sucker. An eyewitness at the restaurant Moonshadows told The Enquirer, “Mel grabbed a bottle of vodka from behind the bar, poured himself a drink – and filled an empty water bottle with the clear booze.”
Oh man. All of this has become so out of control. Now everyone is wondering what in the world happened in Mel Gibson's life that pushed him over the edge and into a drunken stooper? If you are to believe The National Enquirer, a source told them, "The secret reason Mel finally snapped is that his downfall began in the months before, when the immense pressures of filming “Apocalypto” in sweltering Mexico, reduced Mel to a pathetic drunk, who talked to himself, fought with his crew and developed a disturbing nervous tic, reveal eyewitness to his public unraveling. “The bottom line is that Mel went crazy in the jungle,” an insider told the Enquirer. “The combination of the blistering heat, torrential rain and an over-budget and behind schedule film sent Mel around the bend. He constantly fought with the cast and crew. He showed up on the set disheveled, confused and talking to himself. He was drinking heavily at night. He began to elude his security guards and take off. They’d find him hours later dancing the mambo at local cafes – drunk as a skunk.” Ahhh! I thought that guy who asked me to dance on my recent trip to Mexico looked familiar.

In other Mel Gibson news (which I am getting sooo tired of) and what comes as no surprise to anyone, the Los Angeles District Attorney has officially charged Mel Gibson with misdemeanor Driving Under the Influence. The maximum sentence for the offense is 6 months in county jail.
Plus, check out the Mel inspired artwork from my pal Trevor over at The Art Pitt. Oh Mel. Did you think it would ever come to this?



Donuts anyone?

6 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sugar tits is a funny name. (ALL I ask for is equal pay, equal career opportunities and an END to boys club crap in the workplace!)

Sugar tits. heh!

5:33 PM, August 02, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ok, can we PLEASE stop talking about this? He's a bigot, I got it.

7:49 PM, August 02, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sheena Easton should seriously jump on this and do a follow-up to Sugar Walls. Maybe Prince could write a catchy hook for Sugar Tits!

10:10 AM, August 03, 2006  
Anonymous Chno said...

Why is racial profiling so darn interesting?

1:31 PM, August 03, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Team Sugar Tits

8:24 AM, August 04, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So Funny!!!!!!!!!! Even Mel would laugh at this one!!!!!!!!!

4:08 PM, August 04, 2006  

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