Tabloid Whore!



Here we go with the latest recap MTV's The Hills.

It was all about romance on last night's episode of The Hills, when Lauren's meathead ex-boyfriend Jason from Laguna Beach moved to Los Angeles and tried to win his way back into her heart. Last time we saw Jason he was trying to mumble out an apology at Lauren's front gate because he kissed his hoochie ex-girlfriend Jessica in front of Lauren and also appeared to "allegedly" let her give him a hummer in the stairwell at some fashion show. At the time, Lauren was like, "whatever dude, you ruined it" and gave him the big ass heave-ho and then drove off to Los Angeles in her little convertible, never to speak with Jason again. Now that he's moved Los Angeles, Jason starts calling Lauren and leaving her messages on her answering machine about how he'd like to see her and go to dinner. Ok, who else wondered why he wasn't calling her cellphone? I know, I know, cuz calling the cellphone doesn't make as good TV as hearing the old fashioned answering machine, but still, had to mention that. Next thing you know, Jason sends Lauren this huge ass thing of flowers which she and Heidi joked that it looked like a tree. Ok Jason, flower delivery was a nice touch (1 point). The flower delivery seemed to do the trick because next thing you know, Lauren is getting all dolled up for her dinner date with Jason. She puts on her fancy little pearl necklace and of course, cannot forget the headband...and off she goes to meet him at Pane Vino in West Hollywood. Dun! Dun! Dun!

Lauren arrives at the restaurant and when she gets to the table, Jason says hello but doesn't stand up and give her a hug (-1 point). First thing she asks him is "why did you call me?" and Jason suddenly talks more than we have ever heard the man speak all throughout season 2 of Laguna Beach (1 point). It was nice to see that he knew more words than "I don't know," "uhh," and "duhhh..." Anyway, they kinda rehash what happened between them in the summer and Jason ends up telling her he finally stopped calling and trying to get back together because it was clear she didn't want to talk to him and he felt he should give her some time alone. Obviously, the one thing missing from his earlier calls to Lauren before she moved was a simple "I'm sorry." Earlier in the episode when Lauren was talking to Whitney she told her that was all she really needed to hear from him and he never said it. Go figure. Ok, so back to dinner...after some talk about the break up, Jason just blurts out, "Since we live in L.A. now, I think we should start fresh." And with that, Lauren tries to hide the little happy smirk that came across her face. Awww (2 points!). At this point I start to worry because all throughout Laguna Beach I did not like Jason in the slightest and tonight, God forbid, I'm suddenly rooting for the meathead. What is happening to me?

Next day, we see dingbat Heidi at her dream-turned-gofer job at Bolthouse Productions. There is a staff meeting and Brent Bolthouse tells everyone that they are headed to the Palms in Vegas for a big party they are promoting...woohoo! The camera goes to Heidi and her eyes light up, girlfriend is excited because she is finally getting away from stuffing envelopes and going to Vegas! Oh wait! SCREEEEEECH!! Hold up! Brent Bolthouse then adds, "Heidi, we'd take you up to Vegas, but you're not 21." Upon hearing that, Heidi almost bursts into tears. Oh joy! After that, Heidi goes into the bathroom and starts complaining to some blonde chick she works with about how she can't go to the clubs, blah, blah, blah...more of the same old crap. Then blonde girl is like, "uh, honey, you don't know how hard i had to work to get to where I you know how many people would kill for my job? I paid my dues sister and THEN got promoted, so if you think your ass is going to get promoted without licking some boots, well, HELL NO!" Ok, maybe she wasn't that harsh to Heidi, but that is how I like to remember it going down. Anyway, the next day Heidi attempts to "pay her dues" and diligently gets Brent Bolthouse his tuna on whole wheat sandwich. The only bad thing was that Heidi totally fucked up getting the tuna sandwich because as Brent Bolthouse informed her upon her return, "Waaah! Heidi! You forgot my Naked Juice!!" So Heidi, looking pissed to high heaven had to go all the way back to the restaurant and gets Brent Bolthouse his damn Naked Juice. Alright, I will admit, if I was Heidi, that whole Naked Juice thing would have pissed me the hell off too. Dues or not, Brent, get your own Naked Juice! Well, seems like the event with the Naked Juice pushed Heidi over the edge and she ends up calling her loafer boyfriend Justin crying about how she is going to quit her job that she HATES. She really is an idiot. We've all been there, you have to pay your dues when it's your first couple jobs...she is just such a dumbfuck to think otherwise.

Agh, now back to Lauren and Jason. After their dinner Jay shows up at Teen Vogue with a big bouquet of flowers for Lauren and asks to take her to lunch (3 points). When Lauren leaves Jason alone with Whitney for a minute, Whitney says, "ohhh when do I get flowers?" and Jason, being polite tells her, "oh you're next." After that Whitney keeps mentioning how SHE wants flowers and it got to the point of being a little uncomfortable. This was a really good test for Jason because the dude did not try to pick up on Whitney (4 points!). So Jason and Lauren end up having this cute and flirty lunch together and as I'm watching all I'm thinking is, "uh oh, there she goes...Lauren is falling for him again." I guess I'm going to try to find a way to like the guy, I guess. Later that night Jason takes Lauren to the movies and in one of those funny, cute date moments, they end up being the only people in the movie theatre together (with the exception of a lonely man in a bright orange shirt sitting behind them.) Again, it's all cute and flirty between these two and there again is no doubt that they will be getting back together. Jason takes Lauren home after the movie and tells her they should go to dinner again sometime
(5 points). Then he hugs her and in a very "awww" moment, they kiss goodbye. Well, at least he made her smile, so I guess I'll give the meathead one more chance with my girl L.C. Oh dear. Here we go again, Lauren & Jason Take 2.
Oh but wait! What's coming next week?? Their first fight!!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great recap! I agree with you about Jason. I didn't like him on Laguna Beach and now I'm getting all excited that they are "dating" again. Heidi just has no clue about the real world and what a job's just sad.

2:13 PM, June 23, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

heidi is the biggest loser i have ever experienced. People with that amount of entitlement at such a young age are bound to fail. she will likely run around at make money doing appearences for the next couple years, hopefully acquire a healthy drug habit, run home to colorado or wherever the fuck she is from, pop out some rug rats and be fat and miserable for the rest of her white trash life. Or something like that.

3:35 PM, June 23, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't let Jason fool you. He's gonna pull the same shit he did before. LC is an idiot if she falls for it again.

8:36 PM, June 24, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Love her.
Hate him. He's a punk.

12:30 PM, June 25, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I kind of like Jason now too. Heidi is an absolute airhead. But, I can't tell if Heidi is actually so "entitled," she is driving a Saturn.

6:37 PM, June 25, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So someone please tell me where Jason's $$$$ comes from. Isn't he a highschool dropout? The brand new Range Rover screams moma's boy at me.

11:20 AM, June 26, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

honestly i'm not a fan of jason, i dont know about anyone else but i feel like he doesn't speak and he just has no personality....i am getting bored with him lc needs a new guy, he seems to treat girls like crap and if he wants to be an actor then he needs to start gaining more personality and he needs to stop acting like an obnoxious pretty boy..not a fan of him!

9:07 PM, July 01, 2006  
Anonymous zena said...

LC and Jason make da cutest couple and i hope he doesn't stuff up dis time. Hiedi needs to get a clue cos eventually her princess party all day life is gonna cum crashing down.

9:13 PM, July 03, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love that Jason and Lauren are back together but Jason needs to make sure it work this time and do mess up both of the lives. I don't want my girl to be crying or sad no more. Heidi needs to get a dame clue her dumbass need to stop listening to that stupidass boyfriend. Because it seems like he pulling her down and she a job to pay fuckin rent. You back to dame Colorado Bitch!!!!!!!!!!!

9:40 AM, July 18, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

yooow, lauren u r nothing but a peice of trash,bitch u don't have an idea what u doing..... gurl why did u choose to live with Jason instead of ur job. lauren don't fucking let Jason fool u!!!!!! and heidi baby I agree what u did to Jordan... baby u r smart and beautiful....thumbs up 4 u honey... but tell laurnen to learn more about the relationships..
Luaren pay the fucking rent 4 Jason and Jason play ur dirty things when u r away,dude!!!! the fire is on u,baby!!!! ha ha ha ah

5:34 PM, August 03, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

lauren and jasin back together? wow. jason's such a bitch, you should see what he does to her, he kisses other grils in front of lauren. their not a good couple and lauren's not ment for jason. once again jason's a bitch.

6:40 PM, August 17, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Actually, Talan was the high school drop out. Lauren is just going to have to learn things the hard way.

4:46 PM, September 08, 2006  

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