Tabloid Whore!

5.03.2006

THIS WEEK'S NATIONAL ENQUIRER: UH-OH! O.J. SIMPSON DOES TOO MUCH BLOW!

Oh, O.J., O.J., O.J.....when are you ever going to learn that doing drugs is bad?! Just say no! The National Enquirer has a juicy story this week about O.J. Simpson, who, at age 59, is still partaking in the drugs. Seems like he had the scare of his life recently (sorry, 2nd scare of his life eh-hem!), during a dirty drug party that took place in an apartment in Miami. Simpson was with his girlfriend Christie Prody (I'm sorry that whole situation between them is just weird!) and another woman partying the night away. According to The National Enquirer, The Juice took too much ecstasy and cocaine and started a freak-freak-freaking out. Hide the knives! The best part is that The Enquirer quotes a source who claimed that The Juice was "doing a lot of Ecstasy to help him make love to Christie." Oh dear. He refused to go to the hospital because he didn't want the press to find out (Gesh! Doesn't he know by now you can't hide from the National Enquirer?) and instead, made his girlfriend stay there and talk with him for hours until he felt better. Seems like The Juice was almost squeezed for good and seeing the devil or something, because during his ordeal he allegedly wondered out loud if he really did kill Nicole and even made a comment that he would have convicted his ass if he was on the jury!

What else is in the new issue of The National Enquirer? Find out what happened when freak of the week Tawny Kitaen snuck cocaine into the Surreal Life house in a shampoo bottle (oh, and Tawny, don't fuck with Flo!). Also, If you're a fan of Desperate Housewives, they have the season finale spoiler and damn it's good! Plus, can you guess who's crazy, scary lips those are on the cover?
**Thanks to my pals at The National Enquirer for the cover and scoop!

5 Comments:

Anonymous amy said...

I don't follow OJ stories so was wondering if there was something weird between him and the girlfriend other than she is dating a killer which is weird enough by itself.

What ever happened with the daughter, Sydney? Last I heard of her she was in some type of trouble but I never heard another word.

8:47 PM, May 03, 2006  
Blogger Tabloid Whore! said...

no amy, you nailed it on the head. she's been dating him for years and there are always stories in the tabs about their crazy relationship--fighting, drugs,scandal! I don't know what happened to sydney, last i heard she was fighting with the juice a lot and about to go to college. I think that was last year or so. I feel bad for the girl. Hopefully she spends a lot of time with the Browns.

9:19 PM, May 03, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The lips belong to Janice Dicksuck-son

8:41 AM, May 04, 2006  
Anonymous Vermont Neighbor said...

I knew it from the lips. But I still buy Enqirer and Globe every week. No Star though. Bonnie Fuller ruined Star a couple years ago, and actually dumbed down the writing and cheapened the look (yes, it's possible).

Sydney wanted money for college in Boston, OJ didn't want to shell out the money for a pricey school. He's supposedly on a tight monthly budget, living off his football pension.

Sydney will hopefully persevere and get gratification from studying... earning good grades, pursuing a degree... making something of her life. And distancing herself from her father.

12:15 PM, May 04, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

why do yo even give this murdering ass hole any publicity?

7:57 PM, May 05, 2006  

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