Tabloid Whore!



Holy moly. Everyone is going freakin' NUTSO today over this Kate Holmes & Tom Cruise "did they? or didn't they?" break-up rumor! As of now, the two lovebirds are denying a break up. To be honest, I didn't believe the rumors to begin with, and here is why: *DRUMROLL!!*
  1. First off, consider the source. Kids, it's my job to read a shitload of tabloids every single week, and Life & Style Weekly, the magazine that has this cover story, is basically crap in my opinion. Yah, I feature their cover stories frequently, but mostly tongue and cheek because they are so ridiculous. They don't "break" stories. Let's get real here, if someone wanted to scoop a magazine, they would go to one of the bigger publications like The National Enquirer, US Weekly or Star (who already has a story up on their website with quotes from Cruise's lawyer & rep denying the rumors).
  2. Second off, if there was a "break-up" well, then this relationship that everyone has been saying for months is fake, would have to be real. So what is it? Is Kate under contract with Tom and got artificially inseminated in an effort to carry on their "charade" or are they just two people who started a relationship, moved way too fast and accidentally got pregnant?
  3. Third off, Cruise stays in relationships for a long time. Look at Nicole Kidman, look at Penelope Cruz. Just because everyone else in Hollywood is dating for one minute doesn't mean Cruise is suddenly like that. It's just not his M.O. Plus, this time there is a baby involved and I don't buy for a second that they would end it so quickly, simply for the fact that Cruise's spawn is in her belly. Plus, if they were "sooo in love" like they had claimed in the beginning, well, they'd work harder to stay together for the baby, no?
  4. Fourth off, everyone knows that Cruise's people do not talk. If they are real "friends" then they wouldn't be talking to a magazine (or at least one that didn't pay big bucks!). Not to mention, if they were going to talk, they'd say some shit like he was gay.
  5. Fifth off & lastly ! I also question the timing of this break up announcement. Valentine's Day? Puh-lease. What better headline for Valentine's Day then the break-up of one of Hollywood's biggest couples? A bit too obvious in my opinion. Not to mention, who the hell cares that Kate has been going out and getting coffee by herself lately? If that was a sign of a break up, well, we'd all be single.
So there ya have it, TW's take on the whole thing. I don't know if these guys are really in love, under contract, or what, but until a break up story or official announcement comes out from a more reliable source, I'm not buying it!


Anonymous jpfl-not tom's spawn said...

Here is my professional opinion:
-They were NOT under contract (although I do believe that does exist in Hollywood). That Katie did get prego with Tom's Spawn (great one TW), BUT she discovered he is GAY.

Now we have all heard the rumors for years...but Katie is young and naive.

So I think there is trouble in Fake Paradise.

10:54 PM, February 14, 2006  
Blogger Hazim said...

Hey. Hazim here.
If the rumors are true, then Katie's baby won't turn out to be some mutant scientology tadpole.
What happened to Tom Cruise the hunk?
Now he's just another Hollywood freakshow.I actually wish the rumors are true, then I can stop caring about what happens to Tomkatt.
Pretending to be a couple. Pretending to be pregnant. What's next? Tom Cruise pretending to be Tom Cruise?

11:54 PM, February 14, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think Katie got overwhelmed by her years-long crush reciprocating and got in too deep into a "relationship" that may or may not have involved a contract. I think it may have been real to her initially, although she certainly knew it would help people know her name also. Anyway, I think she knows how to read, much to Tom's dismay, has family not all the way in Australia, etc. She looks miserable in every recent pic. I think she feels trapped. When he married Nicole, even though Mimi said he would not do the funky bunch with her, people overlooked it, gave him the benefit of the doubt, there weren't 9000 celebrity blogs, etc. Yes, Tom would love to hang onto his beard for 10 years, but I think she's onto him. I hope, I hope, I hope. STOP RUINING MY FANTASY, TW! THEY ARE SO OVAH!!!!! They can spend the rest of this "pregnancy" working through the confidentiality statement, then either get rid of the pillow or raise little Prince Michael the 3rd* as a non-couple. *so named since MJ did not provide the sperm for Prince Michaels 1 and 2 either.

8:30 AM, February 15, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If Katie is really pregnant then she shouldn't be going out getting coffee; doctor's say it's bad. So maybe she is pretending to be pregnant. This couple makes me sick!

12:23 PM, February 15, 2006  
Anonymous jpfl said...

I think poor Katie has a lot more problems than having a cup of coffee.

And even I don't believe she is faking being prego.

3:06 PM, February 15, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't totally believe she's faking the pregnancy since she does look much more chub than before, but I would have to do the DNA myself to believe it was Tom's. Mimi said he wouldn't get down and boogie with her because he wanted to preserve his instrument or some such stuff, he adopted children with his 2nd wife, likely because ooh gross she's a girl and stuff. Nope, this guy aint giving it up. Not to a woman anyway.

7:22 AM, February 16, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How do you know it´s even coffee???? Did YOU sip the cup? Get serious about the facts, then we can call it real gossip...

2:53 PM, March 03, 2006  
Blogger Tabloid Whore! said...

True, I always thought she was probably drinking tea anyway--or decaf. It's the MEDIA who has reported she was drinking coffee. Although, I don't know how you can think drinking coffee or tea makes any difference on the issue of whether or not the broke up, sir, not to mention, the validity of the gossip. That wasn't the point of it being mentioned. The fact that the break up story was all over the place is what makes it "REAL" gossip.

3:29 PM, March 03, 2006  

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