Kevin Covais: Aww Kevin. He has a lisp and is dorky, so I will automatically love him (don't worry folks, i'm not voting this season). Oh I am weeping. What a little doll. I will not say anything bad about sweet Kevin.
Patrick Hall: Ok, Patrick is aight, he sang Come To My Window. He seems so out of place on Idol though. That's ok, sometimes I like that. He is very tall and something just seemed weird though. He seems uncomfortable standing up. I will give him another chance. Oh sweet Lord, who was THAT woman listed under "Patrick's friends" with the big lips in the audience?
Taylor Hicks: ahh, we love Taylor! He looks like Jay Leno and is so fun and different. Sounds like Joe Cocker, I can't wait to see more of this guy. I like how he yells, "I Love American Idol!" Cool guy.
Chris Daughtry: Chris sang "Wanted: Dead or Alive." Ahhhh, I've found my rocker for the season. F'in love this shit!
Elliot Yamin: He has horrible facial hair, bad teeth and a an even worse haircut. Did nothing for me. Nothing. A friend of mine (bless his heart, he means no harm) said Elliot reminded him of an Amish terrorist. I am stunned that Simon said he had the best voice. Will have to give him a second chance I guess.
Jose "Sway!" Panala: Ok, seriously, who was squeezing Jose's balls throughout the whole song?
David Radford: Ok, David is cute, he sang "Crazy Little Thing Called Love," but when I hear crooner on AI now, I think John Stevens and my allegiance will always be to that little red head, God bless him. David is cute and goofy and was doing Elvis moves or something. I don't know...I don't see him lasting terribly long. He's John Stevens and John Peter Lewis mixed together. OK, and please smack all the girls with their "Poodle Pound." Puke!
Gedeon McKinney: Gideon, I have to be honest...I was involved in a very important email when he was on and missed his performance. oops. Seemed nice tho!
Ace Young: Oh God, he is a HUNK! I love Ace. He sang Father Figure and everything about him is perfect. The voice, the face, the outfit. Those dreamy blue eyes! He even pushes his hair back like Constantine did! I'm tempted to dial, I'm tempted to dial!! And what about that brother we saw in the audience?? There are two of those gorgeous men? Thank you Jesus!
Hey! I'm Bobby Bennett Holla!: Oh dear Granny, why did you have to ask Bobby to do Copa Cabana? What can I say about Bobby? Not to sound like Simon, but I really did feel like I was on a cruise ship watching this fellow. He was like a big Santa. Most surreal moment of the show.
Dudes in order of like: Chris Daughtry, Ace Young, Taylor Hicks.
If you want to check out an Idol top 12 review that is more concise, thought out and doesn't say things like "I don't like so-and-so because he has bad teeth, please visit my pals over at Girls Talkin' Smack for their Idol rundown. Plus, they like Constantine over there, so you know they have pretty good taste.