Tabloid Whore!



Lisa Rinna: Ok, I like Lisa Rinna and think she did a really good job with the rumba. She should not be in the bottom three. She has a different style from the other girls and I still can't get over how great she looks. Once again, cutie hubby Harry Hamlin was in the studio audience cheering her on. Awwww!

Drew Lachey: Can someone just give the guy the trophy already? I can't believe how great he is!! Drew and his partner did the quickstep and it was like they were gliding across the room. He is so damn cute and really does look like Nick. I love those Lachey brothers! Drew and his partner Cheryl were a hit with the judges, earning a score of 27 (the second highest for the night!).

Tia Carrare: Tia looked a lot better than she did last week. Let's be honest, the dress she had on was NOT flattering. This week, she was a hot mamma (sorry, I'm a girl, we look at these things.) So yah, Tia was good doing her rumba...but the rumba bores me. And let's get real, how great can you be when you're following Drew Lachey's quickstep?

George Hamilton: Awww, George Hamilton, what a doll. By the way he came out with tails, a cane and top hat, you'd never know he had a crippled knee and broken ribs. What a trooper he is. I loved how happy he looked when the judges were giving him good reviews for his quickstep, but the best part was when he said, "I'm really doing this for my people in the hood...Beverly Hills." Ha, ha. Only Hamilton could call out Master P and make it work.

Tatum O'Neal: Oh dear Tatum. Who else feels for the girl? She seems like such a lost little bird to me. I know last week I made the crack about her having a stash and all, but now I just want to take her under my wing and protect her. No, she didn't do the best job of the ladies doing the rumba, but dammit, Tatum tried her best! One of the judges said her legs were "fruity and spongy" (um, don't ever tell a woman that) and Tatum admitted to being very nervous. One thing she knows how to do is the splits, yaow. Poor thing, she tried to give her kids a shout out on live TV and that bitch announcer girl pulled the microphone away and cut her ass off! Tatum can't catch a break.

Jerry Rice: I HAVE THE BIGGEST CRUSH ON JERRY RICE! Lord knows I never saw the man play football in my lifetime, but how cute was it when he ran out on stage? After he was done with his quickstep, the audience was chanting, "Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! He and his partner had the prettiest costumes for the night. I love you Jerry!

Stacy Kiebler: This girl is really good. I still can't seem to get emotionally invested in her as a contestant though. I will say this, aside from Lisa Rinna, her performance was the only time watching the rumba didn't bore the hell out of me. Stacy and her partner scored the highest for the night, 29!!

Master P: First off, that man had me so damn nervous for him the entire night. His partner Ashly seems like a big crybaby. I loved it when P was pissy that she told the world he needed to step up in his performance and he said, "I come from the ghetto, we don't snitch on each other!" I was really happy with his quickstep performance. You could really see that he got over his "issues" from week one and gave it his all. Dude is so damn big though, it was like watching frankenstein dancing in a white suit. Even though P refuses to take off his lucky Pete Miller shoes in exchange for dance shoes (you wouldn't wear those in the ghetto!), I give him massive props for stepping it up this week. I hope he makes it through to the next one!

Giselle Fernandez: Um, when did she get replaced by the mom from Malcom in The Middle?


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Give the teachers some credit. The poor fellow who was with Tatem is living in hell. The one I feel the most sorry for is "P's". She was deal a dirty dirty blow. Luckiest is the male instructor with Stacy. She obviously has alot of dance background.

9:52 AM, January 13, 2006  
Anonymous jpfl said...

Please tell me who the hell is Stacy Kiebler. She's good, but i'm not rooting for her.

Jerry Rice and Lisa Rinna are my peeps.

Poor Tatum...I feel so damn bad for her. She looks so sad. I hope she doesnt' go home yet. I'm afraid if they send her home she'll go on a binge.

Save Tatum!!

5:35 PM, January 13, 2006  

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