Tabloid Whore!



WARNING: Sorry this is so long. Must vent!!
OK. I am really, really, bummed that Quentin and Kit turned out to be The Carver. I could care less that I got it wrong (although I still think Liz would have been awesome! Love her!), I just can't believe that it ended up being the two people I could care less about and had no emotional attachment to. First off, people all over the place were guessing the "new creepy doctor" Quentin or the "new mysterious cop" Kit when they first appeared in town. You didn't think it would be either of them because, well, it would have been too obvious and no fun. I don't know how the "obvious choice" turning out to be The Carver is a good twist, just because they may have already been eliminated in our minds. I wasn't shocked, I was just disappointed. I will say it was an interesting little twist that they were brother and sister as a result of incest, but I would have rather that be a separate story about them and The Carver be someone else.
The first hour and a half of the show was awesome, but the last 30 minutes suddenly turned into a freakin' cartoon. Seriously, The Carver just jumps in and injects Sean and then peels his mask off to reveal it's Quentin? Dah-Daaaah! Huh? It was so not Nip/Tuck "oh my gosh! gasp! You've got to be kidding me!" it felt, just, sloppy. Then, that whole ridiculous scene where Sean and Christian were tied down and we get this crazy ass monologue from Quentin? I swear, I was waiting for someone to wake up from a dream. Parts of it produced a chuckle, like when Quentin was talking about killing Reah Reynolds and he said, "Reah? She OFFENDED me!!" Also, I am stunned that they fell back on that old "crazy person raised by nuns" idea with Quentin & Kit. Come on! That was lame! Not to mention, Kit and Quentin escaping to Spain, sitting by a pool drinking fruity drinks together? Lame, cliche, lame, cliche, lame..! And I don't care that Quentin was born without a penis!!!
To me, the best part was with Kimber and how her breast implants were sent to Christian in a bloody box (scary!!), then learning about everything the Carver did to her. Although, I don't like how she told Christian they couldn't be together anymore (is she crazy?...if she was gonna say that, they should have just killed her off!) I loved how they played an instrumental version of Coldplay's "fix you" during her surgery and the part where Christian kissed Kimber on the forehead--romantic! I will say that I loved seeing the return of Cherry Peck (girl, you know how to swing a shovel!) and the whole story with her and Matt. It was nice to see Matt go back to normal and be a good guy and I loved that he helped Cherry pick out make-up. The whole story with Matt's girlfriend's father was kind of weird, but I am glad they shot the f'er and I hope they threw him in the grave (something else we didn't get to see). I wish that Cherry didn't get her ding dong cut off though, that made me sad for her and tear up. BIG PROPS to the fab Willam who played the part of Cherry...awesome work! He's visited Tabloid Whore! before and I hope we get to see him (and Cherry) again on Season 4!
Oh yah, and so much for Ryan Murphy saying at the start of Season 2 that The Carver will be revealed in the last seconds of the show. Where was the cliffhanger? It doesn't even compare to last seasons with Christian being slashed by The Carver. I still love Nip/Tuck and will watch it as long as it's on...but I gotta say, I would have preferred the Carver turn out to be someone we were more invested in, so when we found out, it would have hit us with a bang.

Oh well, on to The Shield!
PS: Check out pobytes review of the Nip/Tuck finale. It's a good thing the two of us didn't go to Vegas and put bets on Liz being the Carver!


Blogger willam said...

Cherry is soooo back for season 4. Tranny got a gun (in her Fendi)
great wrap up!

2:22 PM, December 21, 2005  
Anonymous jpfl said...

Where the hell do I even begin..!!!!
I feel so damn let down by my favorite show..Quentin and Friggin Kit? Give me a break. Just like TW said..we had nothing invested in them, we wanted to be shocked by the identity of the carver. I will still watch it but they are really going to have to get their act together again next year.

A few of the good parts of the finale:
Christian and Kimber- loved how horrible she looked and especially loved Christian kissing her forehead.
Matt- glad he's back to being nice, now if only they would do something about those eyebrows
Cherry Peck- Best part of the show, loved her and Matt shopping for make-up, loved her whacking the father with the shovel, and especially loved when she offered to have her 'box' cut instead of Matt.

Lets hope Vic Mackey doesnt let us down this year.

Thanks for the great recap TW!

4:45 PM, December 21, 2005  
Anonymous Kim said...

You're not alone. I hated that resolution. They could've done so much more with that character. Liz definetly would've been better.

5:27 PM, December 21, 2005  
Anonymous Andrew said...

You forgot to mention Julia's test results. The doctor seemed pretty grim when she gave them to her and they never followed up, so it's probably something bad. Possibilities?
1. the baby is sick
2. twins
3. Julia is sick
I think whatever the results of the tests are, they play a mjaor role next season in Sean and Julia's revamped relationship (and the plot of the show).

In my opinion, the results say that Julia has cancer or something. That could be why she went back to Sean and the house - so she could at least have a happy family while she's in her time of need. Season 4 is gonna be great when they can finally move past the Carver and get back into the same type of drama that drove seasons 1 and 2.

2:22 AM, December 22, 2005  
Anonymous starmaiden said...


This whole season has been insane. The writing seems weak and the whole plotline has moved from the realm of soap opera possible (but kooky nuts) to totally fantastikal (like these were never meant to be anything but allegorical caricatures, kids).

The whole Carver thing was just wacky. A penisless Quentin and a sickly-devoted Kit? *yawn* And I even like me some Quentin. But the Carver's meticulousness tossed out with a ranting Quentin with manical laughter holding Sean and Christian and a raping rampage?

Um, ok.

Anyway. This season was a dream. Next season, anyone?

Awesome wrap-up, TW - Willam, great job - now bring Ava and Barret back...

2:31 PM, December 22, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

well,i think that season 3 was the hottest and most exciting season of nip tuck!!!HOT

3:09 PM, May 03, 2006  

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