GIVE! ME! YOUR! SPERM! NOW! BITCH!!!

Aside from being gross, that Dennis Rodman is a complete cracker jack. In his book "I Should Be Dead By Now," he is claiming that Madonna begged him to impregnate her when they were dating in 1994. Yah right. Fool! Look at Carlos Leon, look at Guy Ritchie...she only goes after the pretty ones to make them babies!

Rodman claims that he was gambling in a Sin City casino when he received a desperate phonecall from Madonna, the ovulating girlfriend:

"It was like the 'somebody died call' from New York. I picked up the phone and Madonna was like, 'I'm ovulating, I'm ovulating. Get your ass up here.' "So I left my chips on the table, flew five hours to New York and did my thing. We got done and she was standing on her head in an attempt to promote conception - just like any girl trying to get pregnant. "I flew back to Las Vegas and picked up my game where I left off."

Seriously, I think he is one of the dumbest men on the planet.

Now I'm off to go stand on my head. Toodles!

Handbag