Tabloid Whore!



Big Brother is like crack and in a week from today, I will be going thru withdrawal. For those of you non-watchers, you wont have to deal with my 3 times a week Big Brother updates anymore, but who cares about you! I want my Big Brother! I was so nervous before tonight's show that I had to have a big chocolate cupcake to make me feel better. I bet you are now wondering if I weigh 200 pounds. Anyway, on to the show...

Tonight we got to see something we have been waiting for, The Friendship alliance is starting to crack. Teeheeheehee! Oh dear, what comes along with that of course, is a night filled with Ivette screaming at every opportunity she had. I am sooo tired of this woman and I really wish they would use subtitles for her when she speaks. I don't care if she blames her loudness on "being Cuban," she is incredibly irritating, annoying and drives me to go in search of comfort food (as observed with the earlier chocolate cupcake.) To everyone's horror, Ivette won the freakin' Power of Veto competition and literally ran and threw herself against the Big Brother house (who heard that loud BAM!?). In what I guess was supposed to be an expression of her excitement, she practically took the Big Brother set down. If that was not enough, she starts yelling things like "MOMMY! I TOLD YOU!" and "FINAL SON OF A BITCH THREE!" all while poor April is trying to graciously congratulate her knowing very well she now will be leaving the house. Janelle was so disgusted by the win that she couldn't even fake happiness and just looked at her straight faced and said "Ivette, you have won the power of veto." Booooooo! Hsssssssss!

Poor April (yes, you heard me) was so hurt by Ivette's obnoxious behavior that she ended up telling Ivette she never would have acted that way if she had won and that Ivette should have shown some sensitivity. Of course Ivette, not ever wanting to hear anything negative about herself, blew up at April and here we had our second dose of her "going Cuban on someone's ass." By this time, my cupcake was long gone so I just had to white knuckle it while Ivette screamed "I just saved my ass and you don't want me jumping for joy?!" Well, gee, no bitch, not when your "friend" is going to be put up for eviction now. Then she told April, "you don't know the feeling of your ass on the line!" Huh? Wha? April's ass was on the line as much as Ivette or Maggie's because if either got veto, she knew she would be up. Duh Ivette. In her third (sigh...) opportunity to scream and torture me, Ivette went in the Diary Room and showed off her smarts saying "WHEN YOU WIN VETO YOU ARE OVERHUNG WITH JOY!" Huh?

April, sweet April, was so horrified that she ran right up to the HOH in tears where Janelle was more than happy to be a good girlfriend. She offered her shoulder to cry on, shook her head and agreed with everything April said, and in true Janey fashion, took this as an opportunity to steal April's vote away from The Friendship. Booyah! That's my girl! To my delight, the fight was not over between Ivette and April. After being comforted by the sensitive Janey, April had the realization that she was wrong to be a bitch to her throughout the entire game and that the evil influence of Ivette was the cause (who has the dark soul now Ivette!?) Now Ivette did not take kindly to this truth at all and again went Cuban for the um, onnne, twooo (hold on while I count on my fingers like Maggie in the last HOH Comp), threeeee , I think fourth time for the night. For five minutes straight Ivette screamed incoherently and talked as fast as a freakin jackrabbit: "apparentlyiholdthebiggerblame!iholdthebiggerblame!ifyoudidntlikemeyoushouldhavetoldmecant
youmakeyourowndecisionsaren'tyouthirtyoneyearsold?" Um, well no Ivette, we all know April is really 49 and subtitles would have been really nice at that point, Big Brother. When Ivette couldn't take her moment of truth anymore she ran away to go cry in her bedroom, but not before telling April "you can shove the veto up your ass!" Keep crumbling bitches, keeeep crumbling.

Now it was time for the live show and the eviction. Nominee April is dressed all hot-to-trot in her little black dress while nominee Maggie is wearing her workout pants for the HOH comp (gee, a wee bit confident Mag?). So, we all know that because Ivette is an idiot and doesn't know how to play the game correctly or strategically, she was going to chose April for eviction instead of getting rid of bigger threat Maggie. But, for a second there, when Ivette got all teary and said "I can't believe I have to do this, I never pictured myself doing this......" I was on the edge of my seat, could it really happen, could she really be smart and evict her biggest competition? No. Of course not, Ivette is an idiot and evicted April. And as April walked out the door, Ivette should have also been waving goodbye to her shot at the money.

As the live show ended and Julie Chen brilliantly stood sideways saying goodbye to us in the wrong camera, the "final son of a bitch three!" started their three part battle for the final Head of Household. This involves holding onto a key and balancing on a raised rim that's slowly turning. They are not allowed to step off or let go of their key. OH NO!!! NOT AN ENDURANCE COMPETITION! JANEY HAS HER PERIOD!!!!


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