MWWAAAA WUHHH! DUMPED AFTER A WEEK.

Star Magazine is reporting that Jared Leto has come to his senses and dumped his little teenager after a hot crazy week of clubbing and is not even returning her calls. In my best Ashley speak and valley girl accent I ask, like, oh my god, like what could y'know Ashley Olsen and that totally hot Jordan Catalano, like, possibly have in common?

I'm a god-damn Olsen Jared! I have like a bazillion dollars, y'know, and I wear really big sunglasses cuz me and my coked up, uh i mean anorexic sister who dresses like a hobo are just like toooo cool, oh ma gawd! Like, call me back...okaaaay?