LANDED.

THE ALIENS THAT IS...AND THEY'VE TAKEN KATIE.

Oh dear Joey Potter, where oh where have you gone? Like a pure addict, one week I'm off the Cruise train, the next week I'm back on. Today I am off again and I think it may permanently stay that way. I'm just so completely creeped out right now by the interview Katie did with W Magazine for their August issue. Katie, who I had always thought of as a young, fab, independant spirit has turned into...dare I say, an Alien Scientologist Stepford Fiance. Word is that she is now accompanied by her Alien Scientology guide (aka Jessica Rodriguez) to all her interviews. Said Alien even answers questions for Katie sometimes....take the W interview for example:

Polite and restrained but alert to troublesome questions, Rodriguez chimes in only to offer an amen following one of Holmes's rhapsodies. ("You adore him," Rodriguez says after the actress explains that she can't keep her hands off Cruise.) But she rises from her chair when Holmes is asked how she feels about the widespread disbelief in her new union."The truth is, we don't read that stuff because it's just rude," Rodriguez says—referring to rumors that Cruise made a financial arrangement with Holmes (after auditioning a field of other young starlets, including Scarlett Johansson, Jessica Alba and Kate Bosworth). When I suggest that the televised hyperbolizing of their happiness may have undercut its credibility, Rodriguez asks, "Have you ever been in love? You just want to share it with the world."

The rest of the interview is equally as creepy, from the interviewer describing Rodrigueze's vagueness on her friendship with Holmes, "After the interview, when I ask Rodriguez how long she's worked with Holmes—reports call her a longtime employee of the Church of Scientology—she waves her hand and says, 'Oh, no, we're just best friends.… Well, Katie has a lot of friends.' And how long have you been friends? 'Oh, a while,' Rodriguez answers. 'I don't know.' It turns out the two women were introduced only six weeks earlier—right around the time when Holmes met Cruise," to Katie's reaction after Tom has a diamond Chanel necklace wrapped in a silver box with a big purple ribbon delivered to her during the interview: " 'He's my man! He's my man!' she screams, then jumps up on her chair to do an impression of her fiancé's now-famous sofa shtick from Oprah. People begin to cheer. 'This is your moment!' cries the manicurist.'I can do splits too,' Holmes says, jumping down and splaying herself across the floor. On that note, I suggest, we should probably get the photo shoot started. 'On that note, she replies, 'I love him.' "

EW.