Tabloid Whore!



Tonight, not surprisingly, Michael was the 2nd person evicted from the Big Brother house. No more Spiderman kisses for him and Janelle. But, at least he's not poor. Right Janelle? What kind of idiot breaks up with her NY boyfriend over the television when her Big Brother boyfriend was going to get evicted the same night? Aside from that, who knew that Michael was European?? That must have gone in one ear and out the other when it was first mentioned because when Beau said that, I was like, "huh?? wahh?" Now that explains why those bastards were making fun of his teeth. So mean. I felt bad for him. I know they are kinda pointy, but still. I liked the guy and I think the girls that complained about him were uptight prudes. Also, what happened to his hand when he was leaving the house? He was shaking it and saying "owww" and then later he had a bandage on the inside of his hand. Weird. Even weirder, did anyone notice that Julie "I fumble my lines on live TV" Chen was wearing body glitter? Fancy. The best part of the show guessed it, my man Kaysar winning HOH! Ha! Ha! All you bitches (eric, april, maggie, yvette) who's your daddy now?! Kaysar! If I were you, I would start praying to Alah that you don't get nominated next for eviction! Side note: I felt really bad for Howie when the majority said they would rather have Janelle babysit their child, did you see the look on his face???

We also got to catch up with some of the peeps in season 5. Holly is still a freakin ding bat idiot. I hate her and her squeaky annoying voice and pink bedroom. ew. Jace lost a lot of weight and actually looked reaaaaaally good, but we learned he liked country music. yikes. The most uncomfortable moment came when we caught up with newly discovered brother and sister Nacomis and Michael. Ok, that whole segment was just freakin weird. The two, who found out during Big Brother that they were actually brother and sister haven't even seen each other since the end of the show last year! Nacomis didn't even go to Cowboy's wedding! Maybe he didn't want to invite her because she has that awful Easter egg green hair. Horrifying. The twins Adria and Natalie are still boring and still have those horrible deep voices and southern accents. Plus, they looked a bit chunky to be the "fitness twins." Diane is still embarrassingly bitter that Drew blew her off. And lastly, we saw the breathtaking DREW, hunk and winner of Big Brother 5. He is the most beautiful man and now that I know he lives in Los Angeles, heh, heh, heh, watch out Drew, Tabloid Whore is going to find you and corrupt you!


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